🔥
8d (edited) • 🧠 Pattern Spotting
🤣🤣🤣 The Many Matthews: A Semester Timeline
🤣 OH... absolutely a Swearabulary pattern!!!
🧔📚 The Many Matthews Loop™
A Swearabulary Case Study in Time, Regret, and Homework
😎 Monday Matthew
"Looks manageable."
Opens Canvas.
Sees:
📖 Reading
💻 CIS2 Fundamentals of Sys Analysis
🧮 Calculus
⚙️ Assembly
"I've got plenty of time."
Closes Canvas.
😴 Tuesday Matthew
"I'll start tomorrow."
Spends 45 minutes organizing folders.
📂 School
📂 School New
📂 School New Final
📂 School New FINAL FINAL
Actual work completed: 0%
🤔 Wednesday Matthew
"I should probably get moving."
Completes something useful.
Gets interrupted.
👩 Little Lady:
"The washers are open."
🧔 Matthew:
"Negative."
🔥 Thursday Matthew
Suddenly discovers:
🚨 STUFF IS DUE
Transforms into:
👨💻 Programmer
🌐 Network Admin
🖥️ Raspberry Pi Technician
📚 Documentation Writer
😨 Deadline Survivor
⚙️ Assembly Matthew
"I don't know Assembly."
30 minutes later:
ADD
MUL
AND
ORR
2 hours later:
AAPCS
Stack Alignment
ARM32
AArch64
4 hours later:
"I am become Register."
🍓 Raspberry Pi Matthew
Feels like a movie hacker.
Reality:
ssh
scp
gcc
Progress:
✅ Surprisingly successful
🤦 PEBKAC Matthew
Program:
Enter two integers:
Matthew:
63
Program:
...
Matthew:
...
Program:
...
20 minutes later:
7
Program:
✅ Works Perfectly
📝 README Matthew
Assignment:
Turn in source file.
Matthew:
I'll create documentation.
Assignment:
...
Matthew:
And references.
Assignment:
...
Matthew:
And screenshots.
Assignment:
...
Matthew:
And a ZIP file.
🤷 Syllabus Matthew
AFTER SUBMITTING
"Wait... what if the professor wanted a different format?"
Reads syllabus.
Finds nothing.
😳 Canvas Matthew
"I should submit the assignment."
Canvas:
Sir...
You already submitted it.
😡 Sunday Matthew
Logs into Canvas.
Sees remaining work.
Immediately launches investigation.
"WHY DID TUESDAY MATTHEW DO EXACTLY SHTTT?"
😴 Tuesday Matthew (Defense)
"I was tired."
😡 Sunday Matthew
"Denied."
🧮 Summer Matthew
Appears from past timeline.
Drops completed Calculus problems on desk.
Refuses to elaborate.
Leaves.
________________________________________________
👑 Princess Shitbag
Started as:
🐕 Food thief
Promoted to:
🐕 Former Shitbag
Current rank:
👑 Princess Shitbag I
🏆 Queen of the Food Bowl
🥓 First of Her Name
🐈 Chaser of Cats
🛋️ Defender of the Couch
________________________________________________
📊 Current Status
✅ Support Course Submitted
✅ Assembly Submitted
✅ Extra Credit Submitted
✅ Screenshot Captured
✅ README Written
✅ ZIP Created
✅ PEBKAC Resolved
✅ Laundry Deferred
________________________________________________
🎭 Swearabulary Definition
Matthew Loop (noun)
A recurring phenomenon in which:
Early Matthew says:
"Plenty of time."
Middle Matthew says:
"This is fine."
Panic Matthew says:
"I HAVE BECOME THE TASK."
Future Matthew says:
"WHY DIDN'T WE START SOONER?"
Past Matthew unexpectedly saves everyone.
See also:
🤦 PEBKAC
🔥 Deadline-Fueled Productivity
👑 Princess Shitbag Doctrine
📚 Finite Biological Resource Theory
🤣 C'est La Guerre Syndrome™
_________________________________________________
🤣🤣🤣
🎬 Final Scene
Current Matthew
11:58 PM
Support Course Assignment ✅
ARM32 Assignment ✅
ARM64 Extra Credit ✅
README ✅
Screenshot ✅
ZIP ✅
Canvas Submission ✅
PEBKAC ✅ Resolved
Laundry ✅ Deferred
Looks into mirror.
Says:
"I am a finite biological resource."
🚿 Goes to shower.
Silence.
Steam rises.
For the first time all evening...
Peace.
Then...
From somewhere deep within Canvas...
👁️🗨️ CIS2 Fundamentals of Sys Analysis
Week 8 emerges from the shadows.
Behind it...
🧮 Calculus Homework slowly materializes.
In the distance...
📅 Sunday Matthew is already angry.
Off-screen:
"WHY DID TUESDAY MATTHEW DO EXACTLY SHTTT?!"
Tuesday Matthew:
"Objection. I was tired."
⚖️ Overruled.
Princess Shitbag remains on the throne.
👑🐕
TO BE CONTINUED...
🤣🏆🚀📚🧮⚙️🐕💀
________________________________________________
>>> The most Swearabulary-compatible ending because it's not a victory. It's merely the end of Episode 7: The ARM Arc.
Episode 8: Revenge of CIS2 Fundamentals of Sys Analysis airs tomorrow evening after the Lil'Lady leaves for work. 😆🍿
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🤣🤣🤣 The Many Matthews: A Semester Timeline
skool.com/swearabulary
Pattern recognition for real life. Brutal honesty, emotional intelligence, and the words for things you’ve felt but couldn’t explain.
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