Life would look really sad and unstable. Still moving from pillar to post with my family as we wouldn't be able to buy a home for our children. Constant stress and worry because we would still be living a life of struggle and survival. Stressed about our youngest sons futures as bithe of them we almost be in matric. I would still feel like I am letting my family down by not fulfilling my purpose in life.
I would be missing out on my own personal growth and development. Missed opportunities for my kids. Not be able to create special and memorable moments. Just the ability to enjoy life and live life to it's fullest. Disobedience would rob me of the life that was promised to me by God.
My husband, my children and my mother would be the ones paying the price with me and it's not what I would want.