Sep 2 (edited) • The 7 Day Pattern Interrupt
Day 2
Three places I am holding back:
A. Digital marketing: Visibility, not being confident and committed enough
(My word for it = REALISTIC)
[Real word =Fear and avoidance]
B. My ministry: Not wanting the shine, not wanting to over excel. The shine and everything doesn't always need to be me or done by me, there are others. {Relates to the feeling I had in grade 9,dim my light so I can protect others in the room}
(My word for it = HUMILITY AND FAIRNESS)
[Real word = Avoiding]
C. Workplace: I am good at what I do, I love my job, I love being able to make the change but I pushed myself in this space to excel, to grow intentionally and recently I have not received the post I had worked so hard for, sacrificed so much for and that's caused me great disappointment.
(For the season of being shortlisted I pushed myself to want more, go for more, prove myself more - before this position was open I did what I always did, to the best of my ability and never really wanted recognition, cause it's my job, I get paid to do it. The extra hours, the innovation of programs, the ability to use my computer skills - all that made me what they called at work a "boffin" but I didn't need or welcome that shine cause for me I was always doing what I needed to do, even though it may have been much better than others)
With the recent disappointment of not getting the promotion I literally got sick in my body due to not being able to handle the disappointment, so now again, I hide, because to me hiding is being realistic, being safer, being fair and protecting me from the hurt and shame.
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Day 2
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