Day 2
Where I'm Hiding
I realized today that I've been hiding from almost everything — community, friendship, support, asking, work, visibility, my own authenticity.
I thought the fear underneath it was simply fear of being hurt or failing. But there's another layer.
I've changed so much over the last few years. Wife. Change in relationship identities, moving several times, joining a family, now being single again. Menopause has changed me physically and emotionally too. I've been through so many versions of myself that I don't fully know who I am right now.
And I think I'm afraid to let people really know me when I don't fully know or accept this version of myself yet.
Maybe I'm afraid that if I haven't accepted this new woman, other people won't either.
And if nobody gets close enough to know me, they can't reject or judge the parts of me I'm still learning to accept.
The honest word underneath all of it: petrified.
And yet connection is how I've always found my way in the world. So hiding protects me from being hurt, but it also keeps me from being known.
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Day 2
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