Feb '24 • General discussion
The first step to getting somewhere is asking for help if ya don't know how to get there, right?
Ok everyone, anyone? I don't know if anyone will even notice me. But if ya don't well then why am I nervous to even start this?
Good question right? Sadly it just popped in my head Sinws writing this, so I figured I'll just put it in (lol).
I'm Travis bickel and I'm 43 and after 20 some odd years living amongst the world all over the u.s. being the epitome of everything people say about a preachers kid (and bringing that persona to true form) I'mback home after all this time and I'm stuck. I don't want y liveday y damnit paycheck to paycheck. I don't want to be the person who has to be the one asking for help once in a while from my family, I want to be there for them or some of the other good people in my life that I've met along my way have done.
I'm talented I'm told by so many people whose path I cross, yet lazily I take the compliment and my talent sits on a shelf not being utilized as it should be.
I'm a painter, a writer, a singer, a hard worker with great people skills from my twenty plus years in the service industry and bartending gigs I've had. I have no fear of my fellow peoples and I pretty much dont really know too much of what a stranger is.
Hell Forrest Gump would taken his Nikes and got up from that bench and ran if I woulda sat next to him..LOL "MAMA NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT NOONE LIKE YOU TRAVIS" is what he'd holler back as he ran away from my outgoing persona.
If you knew me, you'd get that, believe me.
And I want to enter this being honest and open cause lies and deceit get ya nowhere and anyways I can't keep up with the b.s.jargon it takes to keep up with all that so I just try n stick to what I know as the truth.
IM BACK IN MY SMALL HOMETOWN AFTER SO MANY YEARS AND IM STUCK. I NEED SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING TO HELP ME BECOME THE GUY THAT IS SOMEONE MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS CAN TURN TO WHEN THEY ARE IN NEED, TO BE COUNTED ON OTHER THAN IN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND CARE, A CONFIDANTE, A FRIEND, A HELPING HAND, ASTUTE WORKER. I WANT THEM TO BE ABLE TO KNOW THEY CAN ASK FOR HELP EITH MONEY CAUSE ILL HAVE IT. I HAVE THE BRuns for it and I've got so many ideas written down and paintings to sell and still yet to create, I have 5 books that I have the whole storylines laid out with solid foundations and a common goal of getting back some sparks to human emotion and connection.
Hell I wrote a story I could tell ya in five minutes that could would change the way you look at a oiece of candy fkr the rest of your life. And if I couldn't then by golly I'll admit I'm not cut out for any of this thinking that I deserve to live a life far beyond what i do now.
BUT SEE, I AM DESERVING OF IT. I DO DESERVE TO LIVE A LIFE OF A MAN WHO HAS PUT HIURS UPON ENDLESS HOURS OF WORK AT JOBS, AT HOME, IN MY LIFE HELPING OTHERS EVEN MORE THAN THAT, JEEPING MYSELF GOING TO ENSURE THAT OTHERS COULD GET THRU IT AS WELL. IVE CARED FOR LIFE AND NOW I WANT TO CARE MORE FOR MINE FOR A CHANGE.
I WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN MY LIFE, IN MY ART, MY WRITING, AND WELL SINGING IS SOMETHING ILL GET MORE I TO LATER BUT THE FIRST TWO I WANT TO GET INTO RIGHT FROM THE START.
IVE BEEN UNEMPLOYED BECAUSE OF MY FATHERS DEATH AND MY RETURN HOME TO BREAK DOWN HIS LIFE AFTER MANY YEARS OF SAD BROKEN ESTRANGMENT. HE HAD A SCRAPYARD FILLING 3 ACRES OF LAND I HAD TO CLEAN SO WE CAN SELL IT ONLY YO BE BROKEN DOWN AND CALLLED UNDESERVING OF ANY INHERITENCE AND UTS A FIGHT NOW LEGALLY CAUSE I HAVE A SISTER WHOM THINKS INLY SHE IS WHOM ANYTHING SHOUKD GOMTO CAUSE IM AN UNDESERVING F@$$#T. YEA BULL HOCKEY!!! BUT I ALSO HAVE VOMPLICATIONS WITH MY LEFT ARM NOT BEING ABLE TO LIFT PROPERLY AND HAVING DOCTOR VISITS YESTING TO SEE OF ITS A STROKE OR COMPLICATIONS FROM A NECK INJURY SUSTAINED ON A DARK NIGHT A FEW YEARS AGO.
SO ANYHOW , THERE IT IS. ALL THAT....STUFF I DONT KNOW IF ILL EVEN BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY FOR BECAUSE ITS USUALLY TOO MUCH FOR ANYONE TO HEAR, LET ALONE LISTEN TO, AND ITS USUALLY WAY TOO MUCH FOR ANYONE TO FATHOM CARING ABOUT.
I DONT WANT TO BE A NOBODY ANYMORE AND ILL EMBARASS MYSELF IN FRONT OF EVERYONE SAYING ALL THIS TO TRULY REACH OUT TO ANYONE WHO.IS GOOD AT NOTICING A SPARK IN SOMEONE AND SEES POTENTIAL IN THEM AND WANTS YO FUEL THE FIRE THAT CAN BRING FORTH THE PHOENIX LURKING DEEP INDIDE ME BECKONING TO RISE FROM.THE THE ASHES OF MY INNER FLAME I KNEW ONE TIME TO BE BRIGHT AND SHONE FOREVER TO NOW I FEAR TO BE PREMATURELY FADING.
ILL MOVE WHEREVER, I DON'T CARE, I JUST NEED A FRIEND, MORESO A MENTOR, A GUIDING HAND, A KIND HEART, AND A WILLING SOUL TO HELP ME ON A PATH TO A LIFE MORE DIRECTED TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT.
I KNOW IT IS CLICHE FOR ME TO SAY ALL THIS AND TO TELL YA HOW "WORTH IT" I AM, BUT ILL BE VLICHE IF I. GOTTA BE. ILL DO WHATEVWR IT TAKES AND ILL DO THE WORK AND ILL PUT IN THE TIME, BUT I HONESTLY NEED SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE ABLE YO HELP ME HONESTLY. HELL IF YOU WANTED TO. TAKE MY STIRY AND DOCUMENT IT SO WHEN I SUCCESSFULLY ACHIEVE THE GOALS YOU HELP ME TO ACCOMPLISH AND THE FEELING IF SUCCESS THAT IS DEEIVED FROM.OURBENCOUNTER AND THE MENTORSHIP THINK OF HOW MUCH THAT COULD GO ON YO TURN IT INTO A BUILDING SCOPE OF SUCCESS RIGHT THERE. SEE IM IMAGINATIVE AS CAN BE I JUST THOUGHT OF THAT RIGHT THEN WHILE TYPING.
I DUNNO IF THIS IS EVEN GOING TO REACH SOMEONE WITH THE COURAGE TO TAKE CHANCES BUT I AM WORTH TAKING ONE ON ALL I ASK IS TO LET ME PROVE IT AND LETS PUT MY OVERFLOWING MIND TO GOOD USE AND MAKE A PROFIT OFF MY NEVERENDING IMAGINATION. I BET THAT (IF GIVEN AN OPPORTUNITY AND SHOWN HOW TO ATTAIN THE MEANS) IN A YEARS TIME I WILL MAKE A VERY LARGE AND POSITIVE IMPACT TO THE MANY WHO I CAN REACH WITH THE TOOLS, THE GIFTS, IVE BEEN GIVEN AND I CAN WORK TOWARDS MY DREAM OF MAKING MY OWN FOUNDATION CALLED
S-I-V-A-R-T
I know, I know. It's just Travis spelled backwards, BUT it's the other side of me. It'll offer hope and chance to those who are caught up in the struggle and for those who are lost and need to see someone else has been down the road less fortunate and understands and they don't feel so all alone, and has a chance to be able to relate to someone, something.
To ensure them by showing that I survived the struggle, and if I can do it, well then maybe they'll realize that they have the strength inside of themselves as well and they have hope and chance once again and keep moving forward and get a better rift of positive movement in the world. Everyone could use a bit of that these days one would think.
So there's my embarrassing request for a desired help I've never been given the opportunity to actually get this far. If it's too much then I understand I'll continue my search elsewhere, I've been blown off for these past four decades in sure I'll strive til the day I die, but I'd really like to begin now.
Any willing bodies who love to take a gamble? I'll work for my own essentials and pay for what I need just bring me to the source so you can find out what lay amidst the files in the curious cabinet of my mind.
And for what it's worth, THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHOM TOOK THE TIME TO READ ANY OR ALL OF THIS. JUST KNOW IT CAME FROM THE HEART BEFORE YOU MARK IT AS READ AND IT GOES UNTO YOUR TRASH FILE. ITLL BE WORTH IT TO FIND OUT IF WHAT I BELIEVE IN MYSELF CAPABLE TO BE AND TO DO IS TRUE OR NOT. AND IM A MAN WHOM STILL BELIEVES IN HONORING HIS WORD SO IM ASKING TO PUT THAT TO A TEST AND SEE IF I SPEAK TRUE OR NOT.
ILL BE WAITING AND HIPEFULLY NOT LING CAUSE IVE ONLY GOT A TRIAL MEMBERSHIP AND I NEED TO GET TO MAKING MONEY ASAP SO I CAN KEEP THIS HOPEFULLY GOOD THING GOING.
HOPE TO HEAR FROM YA SOON
SINCERELY YOURS,
TRAVIS BICKEL
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The first step to getting somewhere is asking for help if ya don't know how to get there, right?