Hi everyone,
Apologies for the lack of intro and missed day one, I was a little late to the party, but a little quick intro to how I came about being here, in a nutshell last year was the turning point of having quite possibly the worst year of my life, I couldnโt of been further away from church, I felt lost, felt like my relationships were just all wrong, felt so disconnected with my husband, my kids were picking up on my energy, stuck in the hamster wheel of life, constantly working crazy hours, a lot of personal problems and a house built that went horribly wrong,
I made the decision I wanted to go to church to find a better way, I was at rock bottom and I needed hope!
I went to church on the 20th December to the Christmas service and I was stood there with my kids and my husband and I just felt this extreme emotion come over me like I couldnt hold myself together, felt so emotional like I was just overflowing with everything I have surpressed a really bizarre feeling.
I felt instantly like this is where I need to be and what will save me as cliche as that sounds.
Anyhow Iโll tell you all about it properly one dayโฆ but basically I went to a retreat at the church on Friday and Saturday .. ALONE!! This is a huge thing for me anyone that knows me wouldnโt actually believe I went somewhere where I would know no one and be so out my comfort zone, but I just felt I needed to goโฆ
I can confirm it was INCREDIBLE!!!
But whilst I was there I was thinking of Suzanne who I met through a previous line of work, I was drawn to Suzanne and have always admired her courage and the way that sheโs been in the trenches and still her light shines.
I noticed a womenโs reset Christian event by new wine was being held in Manchester and I sent it to her to see if she would be interested in attending. To which she told me about this groupโฆ
How the lord works rightโฆ. I knew we didnโt meet by accident and we would be connected at some point again โฆ I just didnโt know how or when โฆ who would of thought it would of been coming on a faith journey at similar times!
So thank you for inviting me to this space with you ladies โจ
So I missed day 1-
But day 2 task -
What feels crowded In my heart right now โฆ.
Conflict โฆ Around my work, I feel like Iโm so mis aligned, and my current job is not what my heart is calling me for. I feel really torn like a tug of war - like fear is stopping me pursuing what I feel Jesus is placing on my heart. The self doubt is creeping in questioning what I feel is being placed on my heart if Iโm even capable, itโs a real mix of conflicting feelings, and fear.
Which we know fear doesnโt come from Jesus.
After my experience and happenings at the retreat I attended it has left me so hungry for more, to find out more, to walk in the light, like a switch has been turned on and itโs all I want to focus on.
Iโm excited to be on this journey with you all and pray for clarity over where Jesus wants me to be ๐