Apr 24 • General discussion
Perfectionism
Something I hear from a lot of you is that you see some potential version of yourself that you are competing with, like the current output you are producing is not as good as it could be, or that you are not quite there yet. This reframes self-improvement from building, to repairing, and convinces you that you are broken and the work you are doing is to get to some mysterious place that you are 'supposed' to be. This is perfectionism, and there are a lot of types, but fundamentally its linked to higher stress, shorter life, and worse relationship outcomes. If you find that you speak to yourself in a way that you would not encourage someone you were responsible for looking after, rethink the motivation for your self-improvement.
We are here to accept what we have now as as the perfect starting point. The present is by definition the best you could have done, because there is no alternate reality in which you did better. Once you accept that what you have is ok and doesn't need to be 'fixed', you can feel free to build as high as you can just for fun.
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Perfectionism
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