Hey guys, anyone still here? Its a bit disheartening to see it go quiet, but my content has been reaching more people than ever right now, and I still check in here every day. If anyone has anything on their mind, please share, would love to interact. New podcast will be out this week so stay tuned

Hey guys, sorry for radio silence for a while, been on holiday. Been thinking a lot about comparison, we all have heard that its the thief of joy, but when I step back and think about it, I think I actually get a lot of joy from comparing myself with people that are worse off. I’ve been constantly comparing myself to other people since I was a kid, and it used to hurt because I wasnt winning the comparisons. Instead of healthily removing the comparative mindset though, I just decided to outwork it, and become better so the comparison didn't hurt anymore. This works if you stay in the same place, but its been resurfacing and coming back to bite me when I think about things I cant affect as directly as myself and my own external expressions of status etc. Its hard to realise that you have these negative thoughts and drives that go against what you objectively want to think/believe, because so often our own thoughts do not feel like the thoughts of the kind of person we want to be, and that feeling of dis-integration is what makes people feel like shit all day. Just something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, let me know what you think, would also love to see more posts from you guys about whats been on your minds

So after listening to Cameron’s recent podcast, I realised the one thing I hadn’t implemented was leaving the phone outside my bedroom. I’ve noticed I’ve been scrolling too much, so though this may help cut back. I didn’t expect much from it honestly, just trying anything to fix sleep that has been broken for a while. The first thing I noticed wasn’t the sleep (still working on that). It was actually the quality of thought that appeared in the spaces where the scrolling used to be. I started waking up and reaching for my books instead of a feed. I also started going for walks without headphones. I laid in the grass for an hour in the sun with my eyes closed just listening to music and nature. Somehow, so many ideas I hadn’t been able to access started surfacing — creative ideas, clarity on decisions I’d been circling for weeks, memories I hadn’t thought about in years, even parts of myself I thought didn’t exist (my creative side as a software engineer). I’ve been reading more in the last two weeks than I have in months, genuinely absorbing it rather than skimming. I had a conversation with my grandfather about a James Baldwin novel we both read at the same age, decades apart. I’ve also written poems and posted them to my substack (https://substack.com/@nilek3 - shameless plug I hope that’s okay). I figured out what I actually want my life to look like, with a concrete vision. None of that felt available to me when the phone was the first thing I reached in the morning or whenever I was bored. Leave your phone outside your bedroom!!

I finally started a public TikTok account where I post some of my thoughts and opinions. Well, I’ve done it in a very silly and unserious way, but getting 30 likes on both of my posts in 10 minutes really feels rewarding. Not just because of the dopamine hit (I want to believe haha) but the fact I put myself out there and went against my anxious thoughts and fear of being judged. Now that I did get some engagement I wish I had been more serious and open about what I think. Eventually I want to post talking videos just like Cameron does. Just to get all my ideas out there. This just reminds me that if you want to make something just put it out into the universe and perfect it later. Anyways, I feel relieved.

I just finished the podcast on self believe and I want to say that I have noticed how comfortable Cameron has become with speaking for an hour straight, you can really hear the difference in confidence compared to the older episodes. So respect for that. The most profound lesson from that episode was ironically about taking out the bins. I like the idea that whenever we do something we do not want to do, instead of thinking about how much we hate that task or hoping for it to be over as soon as possible, we can use the moment to appreciate being alive. I found that the most trivial tasks like taking out the bins can bring me immense joy. I use those moments to take a step back from my daily flow and try to ignore my thoughts just like during meditation. Implementing such short periods of just being in the moment, ignoring every immediate thought about the rest of the day really made the most unpleasant tasks very enjoyable. I also remember Cameron talking about a lecture series from Jordan Peterson that helped him in the past. Does anyone know where to find those specific lectures on YouTube? I do not find the exact time in the podcast when he talked about it. I would really appreciate if someone had a link for me. Cheers