After 2 weeks of attempting to not only find it (Holy Spirit gave me the thought - look in the storage room) but get into the storage locked (the lock had to be broken (isn't that so prophetic!)) where it was, I finally got my old wedding dress back. And threw it away. Who cares about the old memories, the money, etc. God will give me even better memories and an even better dress if it comes down to it. And even if it doesn't happen the exact way I thought, He's still good. I severed the soul tie with my ex-husband and it felt like ripples of ants crawled out of my feet. It's one thing to know it happens for someone else, but when you experience deliverance for yourself it just catapalts your faith in God and the process. I love me some Him. Glory to God! Now onto the next part of Dignified Deliverance!

So, last week, I finished week 2 and as I went through the list, I remember complaining in my head...like bruh, God...at this point, I might as well eat ice cubes and paint with water. Like...is there nothing I can do? Why is everything demonic?! He was patient with me...and let me vent, but kept pushing me to finish. He would highlight parts of Kelly's teachings. He would remind me that not everything is demonic, but where is my help coming from? I went through the renunciations and prayers...then here comes the gnarly part. That conversation with God while going through the Deliverance prayers stuck with me. So much so, that when I was in prayer or asking God what was wrong...the word Idolatry kept coming up. 🤔 At this point, I'm like God, what else is there?! I'm getting frustrated...and during worship at Arise Brandon on Saturday, God told me I was making myself an idol. He said I've been depending on myself for everything. And i've been doing it for such a long time, using mentors, new age practices, how hard I work at my job, etc...all of that was all me, for me. He gave me an image while I was worshipping. He said lay yourself on the altar and surrender yourself. I said...God. like i'm literally in the first row, how much closer do I need to be? He said, in my head, "No. Lay down like in the vision." In the vision, I was laying on the ground in pieces, but as I laid on the ground angels dressed like construction workers put me back together. So, I knelt...still trying to do this my way. Ya'll. I was fighting Jesus about laying on the ground to worship. I said God I need help. I can't do this. I was leaning my weight on my arms...still refusing out of fear of what people would think. Anyway....God got me to the ground, and as soon as my head hit that floor...I WAS SOBBINGGGGGG. And the thought from the Lord was...see...how if you lay on me, how firm I am. How established I am. How grounded I am. You don't have to work hard when you leaning on me. You can truly rest. It felt so good.

So, I thought I had forgiven everyone...but the biggest issue was forgiving myself. Feeling insecure about decisions I have made or feeling small about standing by those decisions...all of that came up. When I went to go burn my paper outside...it kept blowing away or the fire wouldn't catch. I know forgiveness is a process, something you have to choose to do daily. I definitely feel a burden has been put down...because I want forgiveness, so I'm not about to go out of my way to withhold it from others. I don't want to be tortured by demons because of my unwillingness to let old things go. If you haven't gotten to Week 3, yet...be prepared for some breakthrough here friends.

Ephesians 3:14-21 NIV For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I find it hilarious when the enemy tries to whisper old incidents I use to play over and over in my head and get so upset only this time I've already given those thoughts and people to God and now I recognize the enemies voice and feel him get frustrated like "why aren't you mad? Remember how mad you use to be? GET MAD AGAIN" lol I don't argue with foolishness. Thank you Jesus for delivering me from my enemies hands!