I am stuck. Stuck in this loop that I’ve constructed myself—for my own downfall. It’s like I want to see myself fall, but a part of me can’t bear to watch. So I’m constantly at war. A war only I know exists. A war that isn’t based on just one thing, but an overall issue—it covers how I view life, my personality, my perspectives. It’s like I have two guns in my inventory. Both equal in firepower. But when I use one, it makes me want to shoot myself. And when I use the other, it shoots at the reflection of my face. Both are valuable to me. I treasure them. But both come with consequences. One gives me pleasure—but then turns right around and shoots me in the skull. The other one burns my hands when I hold it, but it fires straight at the parts of my life that hold me back from who I really am—or maybe who I could become, if I wanted to. Pleasure is such a fascinating emotion, isn’t it? I love what it gives me, but I hate what it brings with it. Too many options. Too many people to give opinions. Too many decisions to be made. Yet here I am, still deciding which gun to use. Even though I know I could use both. Maybe balance them. Maybe one day I will—when I can trust my hand not to shoot me in the skull again. It’s already done that a few times. I still carry the holes as reminders. But even then, I sometimes almost shoot myself again. How foolish is a human being. And I know—deep down—I know which option will bring me long-term fruit. But, still... a big “but.” I get affected by my surroundings. By people. By feelings I can’t always explain. But it’s not enough to make me kill my other half. So I live with it. Because at the end of the day—I live the life. The life doesn’t live me. *If you read all of this I am very thankfull for your time which you have taken out for it I am trying out if the writing which I do is interesting and helpful for others of not*

Yo yo, hope you're doing well! If you'd be interested in talking about your views on stoicism, this is for you :) I run a podcast where I bring on guests to explore philosophy, psychology and self development, I'd love to have you on! It doesn't matter how old you are, where you're from or anything like that - as long as you have ideas you wanna share. What do you say, would you be down to talk about stoicism for 30 min? If yes, leave a comment below and I'll be in touch :)

The reason why I became a stoic is because of the practices and virtues that it has that Christianity does not have anymore in my option. But I am very glad to join Project Stoic due to that fact I believe that I will go much further as a Stoic Innovator than being stuck in a Dead loop of Declining Chirstianity.

I will be doing an 18 day social media detox from May 2-20 it will challenge me to become the best of the best I will be back here after it is all done I will see y'all in the next one. If you want to ask me anything go right ahead before I am gone in a stoic way.

Do you have a morning ritual like the Miracle Morning or just stay up, breakfast, drink coffee or tea and hurry up to work?