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Jul 22 •
👋 Welcome to Own the Room — Start Here
I’m so glad you’re here. Own the Room is a place to learn the things a lot of us somehow made it to adulthood without ever being taught—what to say, what to do, and how to feel a little more confident walking into the rooms that matter. And if you’re here for your pre-teen or teen, you’re in the right place too. Here’s what to do first: 1️⃣ Introduce yourself Head to General Discussion and tell us: 👋 Your name + where you’re from 💬 What brought you to Own the Room 🤔 One situation you’d love to feel more confident navigating It can be anything from “I hate networking events” to “My pre-teen won't look up from their phone at dinner.” There are no dumb questions here. 2️⃣ Add the Weekly Live Q&A to your calendar This is where you can bring me the awkward, tricky, “What on earth do I say here?” situations you're dealing with in real life and we’ll talk through them together. 3️⃣ Take a look around You’ll find conversations for social situations, professional presence, parents/pre-teens/teens, and Ask Presilah when you want my take on something specific. Courses will also be added to the Classroom as they're released, beginning with Poised & Positive for pre-teens on September 1st. 4️⃣ Check out the Member Map See who’s near you and start making some real-life connections. Because the whole point of learning this stuff here is to feel more comfortable using it out there. 5️⃣ Read our Community Rules They’re simple, but important. [Read the community rules here →Rules] Then go introduce yourself. And once you do, say hello to at least one other person while you’re there. Welcome to Own the Room. 💛 I’m really glad you found us. — Presilah
1d •
Thursday’s Live: Find Your Zero 👀
When you think of etiquette, you might think of manners, but modern etiquette is really about understanding how you affect the people around you and knowing how to navigate those interactions well. And a huge part of that is communication. I posted a Reel this weekend about something I teach called “Know Your Zero.” Your zero is your baseline—what people naturally pick up about you before you ever open your mouth. Why does that matter? Because sometimes what we intend to communicate and what someone else actually receives are two different things. That’s where unnecessary friction and misunderstandings can happen. So for our live this Thursday at 7:00 PM ET, we’re going to work on finding YOUR zero. We’ll dig into what shapes your baseline, the clues people may already be giving you about how you come across, and how to use that awareness to communicate more clearly and intentionally. This isn’t about changing yourself or getting everyone to like you. It’s about becoming a more effective, socially aware communicator—which, to me, is at the heart of modern etiquette. If there’s something you’d specifically like me to address or a way you tend to be perceived that you’ve always wondered about—drop it below and I’ll work it into Thursday’s live.
12d •
If your pre-teen is always on their phone in social situations…
Before you make it about “bad manners,” consider what the phone might be doing for them (c'mon, we do it too). Sometimes it’s entertainment. But sometimes? It’s an escape hatch. They may not know what to say, so they feel awkward. Or maybe they don’t know how to join the conversation, so down goes the head and out comes the phone. That’s why simply saying “Put your phone away” only solves half the problem. We also have to teach them what to do instead. A lot of these I teach in the Poised & Positive course, like... -How to introduce themselves. -How to answer more than “fine.” -How to ask someone a question. -How to sit in a little awkwardness without immediately escaping it. Those are skills. And skills can be practiced.😉
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12d •
You walked into a networking event alone. Now what?
First: do not take out your phone. I know! 😂 It gives you something to do with your hands and makes you feel less awkward—but it also makes you look unavailable. And you're there to network, so kinda defeats the purpose... Instead: Walk in and take a second to look around. And then find one person standing alone or a group of 2–3 with open body language (doesn't look like they're huddled, or talking about something important). Then keep it super simple: “Hi, I’m Presilah. How are you connected to the event?” That’s literally it. You do not need an amazing opening line. You just need an opening.
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12d •
The easiest way to make small talk less awkward
I REALLY struggled with this for most of my life and then I met my husband and it seemed so natural for him (and not draining-weird lol) so I was determined to figure out why he made it look so easy. When I started picking up on what he was doing, it was so simple that I was annoyed I'd never learned it before. The mistake most people make with small talk (myself included) is they think they need to be interesting. And you don’t. You don't have to talk about yourself at all, actually. You just need to be interestED. So, instead of putting pressure on yourself to come up with something witty, look for something you can genuinely be curious about in the other person. For example... “You mentioned you just moved here... how are you liking it?” “How do you know ______ (fill in the name of the host)?” “Wait, you’ve been there? Is it worth the trip?” And then listen to the answer instead of immediately worrying about what you’re going to say next. As a recovering perfectionist, I thought good conversation was a performance that sat on my shoulder. And it's not. It’s usually just curiosity + a good follow-up question. Try that the next time your brain goes completely blank. 😉
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