What is your shadow saying
What Your Shadows May Be Trying to Tell You
Shadows aren’t here to punish you.
They’re not here to break you.
They are parts of you that have gone unheard for too long —
old fears, old wounds, old memories, old beliefs
that finally feel safe enough to rise.
Your fear of driving, of being alone, of the unknown…
these aren’t signs of weakness — they’re signals.
Your shadow might be saying:
“Something inside me still needs comfort, reassurance, and healing.”
“I don’t feel safe yet.”
“Please don’t leave me behind again.”
“Please slow down and listen.”
Shadows often speak in fear because fear is the voice
we learned as children when we didn’t have power, protection, or choice.
Now, as an adult, the fear feels the same —
but you are different.
You have tools you didn’t have then.
You have awareness you didn’t have then.
You have strength you didn’t have then.
Your shadow is not trying to destroy you.
It’s trying to come home.
Why It Feels Paralyzing
When fear builds up over years — from trauma, uncertainty, stress, grief, change —
the nervous system goes into survival mode:
  • Fight (tension, frustration)
  • Flight (anxiety, avoidance)
  • Freeze (paralysis, stuckness)
That “paralyzing” feeling is not failure.
It’s your body trying to protect you from what it thinks is danger.
But like you said —
breathing helps.
And that’s not a coincidence.
Breathing signals your nervous system:
“It’s safe now. We can calm down.”
Even if the relief is temporary, it means your system can shift —
which is a powerful sign of resilience.
How to Move Through This (Softly, Not Forcing)
1. Talk to Your Shadow Instead of Fighting It
Try saying (in your mind or journal):
  • “I hear you.”
  • “You’re scared, and that’s okay.”
  • “You don’t have to protect me alone anymore.”
  • “I’m here with you now.”
This turns fear into relationship — not battle.
2. Break fear into small, safe steps
If driving triggers anxiety, don’t force long drives.
Rebuild trust:
  • Sit in the car with the engine off.
  • Start it and breathe.
  • Drive around the block.
  • Add distance slowly.
Small steps re-teach your body: “We’re safe.”
3. Let yourself be accompanied, not alone
Talk to someone you trust, even for a few minutes.
Fear shrinks when witnessed.
4. Use grounding to interrupt the “spiral”
When fear rises:
  • Put your feet on the floor.
  • Name 5 things you see.
  • Take one slow inhale and longer exhale.
  • Place a hand on your chest or belly.
This pulls you out of panic and back into your body.
5. Reassure yourself like you would a child
Because that’s often who is scared —
the younger version of you who didn’t get comfort or safety.
Most Important: You’re Not Broken
You’re not “regressing.”
You’re not failing.
You’re not losing control.
You are healing —
and healing brings old pain up so it can finally be released.
Your shadow isn’t your enemy.
It’s the part of you that needs the most love right now.
And you’re doing the brave work of facing it —
even when it shakes you.
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Tina Metzger Braxton
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What is your shadow saying
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