The last three weeks had been so good for me. I was building momentum, feeling like I was finally starting to get it. And then, on the very last day, I messed it all up. One bad day was enough to undo the work of 14 good ones, and now I’m left sitting here not knowing what to do next.I'm so stupid its unbelievable. What hurts the most is that I had 14 ATD days over $600 locked in. I was literally one more day of $600 away from securing a $2,500 payout...just one day away from freedom. I can’t get that out of my head. It was going to be my first ever payout. What makes it worse is knowing I won’t be able to buy another eval now. I got lucky with the giveaway once, and in my head I really believed this was going to be it for me. That belief carried me, and maybe that’s why it stings so much now. I’d even started planning how I was going to split that payout between new evals, expenses, and savings, like it was finally happening. And now… I just feel devastated. I feel stupid for throwing it away on tilt, for not having the patience to wait just a few more days. This was a DTF account, and I should’ve protected it better. I’m ashamed of myself and I’m sorry, guys. Right now I just feel tired. Tired of messing up when it mattered, tired of watching progress get washed away in a single bad day. I don’t know what to do next.

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Hi guys, its been a while. I have been limiting my time with being on screen. Not taking a break from trading (because i love being in that world) just freeing my brain. In the past few weeks this has happened. In boredom, you start noticing little things. I focussed more in building a relationship with my creator. I spent even more time with my kids. My wife, wow our relationship has blossomed. I realised how loved I am by my siblings. Now we speak to each other regularly although we live in different cities. I was attentive to a job opportunity, got an interview and landed the job in the same week(Didnt have one in 2 years and went for many interviews). Now I am head of a new project with a young team eager to learn...and it goes on. I wanted to explain how distracted this world has made us that everything we actually NEED, is right inside of us. We just have to commit to taking a step back and focussing on being aware and you will start to notice. I thank this group, the rewiring,the extreme HONESTY and support. No matter where you are, we are not alone, this group is testament to it. We are all different and one at the same time. Love you guys. ❤️

Old habits die hard. A bit of back to the old Self. Revising notes on processes.

The tough days is where i learn the most. Not the most fun though.Very bleak week.