Patience is a virtue I still struggle with some days. Healing my inner child without damaging my own children in the process is the biggest challenge. I keep telling myself I will do better than my parents and in a lots of ways I have. But sometimes I let the darkness take hold and I see my own self destructive monster creeping out. Especially if I am triggered by a smell of smoke or certain songs it is like I loose all control of rational behavior. Without a partner or my brother to call me out I need to catch myself before I fall into old habits and bad behaviors. Trying to maintain the balance is difficult sometimes. Tonight I just had to walk away from the frustration and give myself a time out. Time to breathe and recenter myself before I say or do something toxic to damage my relationships further. Today is a mixture of big feelings of gratitude, celebration, and grief. Tonight I ask the gods for strength and grounding burn some nice insence, light a candle, drink a cup of tea. Do better tomorrow. Rev. Rachel Rose 🌹 🦊🌟🐉❤️🔥