The Irreparable Cost: What Prolonged Family Court Litigation and Alienation Do to Parents and Children There is a lie embedded deep in the family court system, and it is one of the most destructive lies a society can tell itself. The lie is that time is neutral. That separation is temporary. That children and parents can simply “reconnect” once the court process ends. That lie collapses the moment you look at what prolonged litigation abuse and alienation trauma actually do to human beings. Because by the time access is restored—if it ever is—the people meeting each other again are no longer the people who were separated. They are shells. What happens to the parent The parent who enters family court fighting to protect their child does not come out intact. They are dragged through years of uncertainty, false allegations, procedural abuse, financial depletion, and psychological warfare masquerading as due process. Every filing becomes a threat. Every delay becomes another month without their child. Every hearing carries the weight of existential loss. Over time, this does not just “stress” a parent. It changes them. • Their nervous system becomes locked in survival. • Sleep deteriorates. • Cognition slows. • Joy disappears. • Their identity collapses around loss. They stop being the parent their child remembers—not because they chose to, but because the system dismantled them piece by piece. The playful parent becomes guarded. The regulated parent becomes dysregulated. The confident parent becomes hollowed out. Not from lack of love—but from too much sustained pain without relief. By the time access is restored, the parent is often: • Physically ill • Financially ruined • Emotionally blunted • Afraid to say the wrong thing • Terrified of losing the child again The parent the child once knew no longer exists—not because they failed, but because they were psychologically tortured under color of law. What happens to the child The child’s injury is quieter—but deeper.