The Advantages / Disadvantages Exercise

From the vault! Recorded this 6 years ago, and as I was going through some old videos in my drive I thought I'd post this for you guys who are starting to understand and integrate the releasing process from the SET meditation!

If you have not done the Self Esteem with Women Transformation meditation yet you will not understand wtf I'm talking about.

What Is This Exercise?

The Advantages/Disadvantages Process is one of the core releasing tools from the Sedona Method. It's designed to uncover hidden attachments and aversions you hold around any topic — a goal, a problem, a feeling, a belief, a pattern — by exploring both sides of it.

When you feel stuck, conflicted, or unable to let go of something, it's usually because part of you sees an advantage to holding on, and part of you sees a disadvantage. This process brings both sides into conscious awareness so they can dissolve naturally.

It works because most of our resistance is unconscious. We don't realize we're holding on to things that hurt us because at some level, we believe there's a payoff. This exercise exposes that.

How To Do It:

Setup

Choose your topic. This can be a goal, a problem, a feeling, a belief, or a pattern you want to release.
Frame it clearly. For goals, phrase it as already having the goal (e.g., "having total ease and confidence with women"). For problems or feelings, just name it directly (e.g., "my anxiety around approaching," "holding onto shame").
Get a pen and paper. Create two columns — one labeled Advantages and one labeled Disadvantages.

The Process

Go back and forth, one at a time, between these two questions:

→ "What is an ADVANTAGE of [your topic]?"

Write down whatever comes up — a thought, a belief, a feeling, an image. Don't filter it. Don't judge it. Whatever arises is the right answer, even if it doesn't make logical sense.

Then release on what came up using the basic releasing questions:

Could I welcome this feeling?
Could I let it go?
Would I let it go?
When?

→ "What is a DISADVANTAGE of [your topic]?"

Same thing. Write it down. Release on whatever comes up.

Then go back to advantages. Then disadvantages. Keep alternating.

Key Principles

Always alternate. Do one advantage, release. Then one disadvantage, release. Don't do a whole list of one side before switching — the power is in the back-and-forth. Going between apparent opposites creates a holistic release.

Whatever comes up is the right answer. Your logical mind might say "that doesn't match the question." Doesn't matter. If "it's too hard" comes up when you ask about a disadvantage to having your goal, that's what needs to be released.

Release on the underlying want. As things come up, check: is this wanting approval? Wanting control? Wanting security? Wanting to be safe? Let go of the want underneath.

You can repeat the same answer. If the same advantage or disadvantage keeps coming up, that's fine — release on it again. Each time you release a layer.

No right or wrong number of rounds. Some practitioners recommend at least 9 rounds (9 advantages + 9 disadvantages). But experienced releasers often go for hours, days, or return to the same topic repeatedly over weeks. Go until you feel courageousness, acceptance, or peace around the topic — or until nothing more comes up.

"No" is a valid answer. If you ask "could I let it go?" and the answer is no — that's fine. Just asking the question and answering honestly still moves energy. Keep going.

When To Use This

When you feel stuck or conflicted about something and can't figure out why
When you've been trying to release on something and it won't budge — this process uncovers the hidden payoff keeping you stuck
When you're working toward a goal and want to clear subconscious resistance
When making a decision and feeling pulled in two directions
When releasing on a feeling or pattern that keeps coming back (shame, fear, anger, avoidance)

Example

Topic: "Having total confidence and ease with women"

Advantage Disadvantage "I'd feel free" → release "People might judge me" → release "I'd stop overthinking" → release "I might get hurt" → release "I could actually enjoy it" → release "It feels unsafe to be seen" → release "Women would feel my presence" → release "I'd lose my excuse to hide" → release

Notice how the disadvantages reveal the hidden reasons you're holding yourself back. That's the gold. Each one gets released.

Pro Tips

If you hit a wall and can't think of more, just sit with the question. Something will surface.
You can do this as a written exercise OR purely internally (eyes closed, just asking the questions silently).
Aim for at least 15 minutes per session if you're putting a clock on it.
Combine with the SET meditation for maximum depth — use this process to clean up whatever the meditation surfaces.

Remember: the goal isn't to "figure out" the right answer. The goal is to let go of everything that comes up until there's nothing left but peace.

19:10

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