A few days ago, a sister I know was watching a movie. By the end of it, she found herself reflecting deeply and asking a powerful question: “If you had the chance to go back and choose your husband again, would you still choose the same one?” She shared this question on her Snapchat, and while a few sisters answered “yes,” more than 90% said “absolutely no.”Their explanations were filled with words that were heartbreaking, even frightening. Reading those responses shook me. It made me realize just how many Muslim marriages today are filled with sadness, regret, and struggle. Some people even commented, “This is why I’ll never get married. I don’t want to suffer.” That reminded me of something my aunt once told me. She said, “Marriage is suffering, and you just have to deal with it, because Allah told us to do it.” But hearing all these reflections made me wonder:Why are so many marriages today so far from what Allah ﷻ describes in the Qur’an? Why don’t we see the peace, love, and tranquility that He promised us in marriage? And then I realized—marriages are not all the same. It can actually be dangerous to compare our own lives and future to what we see around us. Some people enter marriage without truly knowing what marriage means. Nobody prepared them, nobody explained. They just did it—sometimes out of love without looking deeper, sometimes because someone was introduced to them, sometimes because of family or social pressure. Others got married just to escape their homes, just to “be free.” Some said yes only because the other person was Muslim, without checking if they shared the same values and goals. Some got married only for children, and some were even forced into it. In so many cases, people married with no clear purpose—most importantly, without truly knowing why Allah ﷻ prescribed marriage and without following His guidance. Allah tells us that marriage is meant to bring peace, but that peace can only exist if both husband and wife fulfill what He requires from them.

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Asalam alaikum MM Ladies! I have some good news for you, it DOES work out. We don't know the how, when, and who, but I promise you it does. I know this because even the feeling/desire to even want something is placed into our hearts and minds through Allah swt. We just need to do our parts of showing up to the pitch and having faith. I realized, that even having the opportunity to join the Mindful Muslimah Marriage Lab is an indication that Allah swt wants this for me and is guiding the way. MM is literally hand-holding us through this super confusing process and my heart feels so full after every class session alhumdulillah! I meant to post this after the Sunday session. Here is what I do to tie my camel & stay grounded. 1) In a journal every night, end the workday with a two-line (minimum) gratitude list. Make note of everything that went right. Also, note the single most satisfying ask you wrapped and one skill you stretched (however slightly). This tiny ritual closes the feedback loop, reminding your brain that progress happened and progress is rocket fuel for anticipation. Momentum hack: Keep the list in a running document called "Proof." On Friday, skim the week's entries. You'll start the weekend feeling capable. 2) Make a list of all the things that seemed impossible but Allah swt made possible (add stories of the prophets). 3) Sit with yourself and determine the difficult conversations that you're NOT having. Difficult conversations are a huge part of marriage and most of us struggle with this. See if your local library/institution offers a Crucial Conversations course. 4) Answer the question, who are you if your title/job was removed? Who is (___insert your name __)? What makes you special and worth getting to know? 5) It's okay to cry. This is a messy process and it's not linear. Forgive the version of you in the past. She did the best she could with what she had & knew at the time. Now you know better, so you'll work towards becoming better. This time, you're NOT starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.🫶