15d • Emotion management
**“How’s That Working for You?”**
**“How’s That Working for You?”**
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**“How’s That Working for You?”**
You show up to therapy. You answer the questions. Maybe you even do the homework.
But nothing changes. And somewhere deep down, you already know why.
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**Resistance Doesn’t Always Look Like Refusal**
**The Intellectualizer** — Talks *about* feelings instead of *feeling* them. Knows all the terminology. Stays safely in their head.
**The Deflector** — Uses humor, changes subjects, always has a new crisis right when the real work begins.
**The Yes-But** — Has a reason why every suggestion won’t work. Agrees in session, does nothing after.
**The Performer** — Says all the right things. Appears to make progress. Has never actually been honest.
**The Controller** — Steers away from threatening topics. Needs to run the session because vulnerability feels like death.
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**What’s Really Happening**
Resistance is protection. Your brain learned that certain feelings were too dangerous to access. Therapy asks you to take those walls down, and every part of you is screaming *no*.
But here’s the hard truth: **You cannot heal what you refuse to feel.**
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**The Question Worth Asking**
If nothing has changed after months or years of therapy:
*What am I protecting by staying stuck?*
*What would I have to feel if I actually let this work?*
Your therapist can’t do the work for you. They can only walk beside you while you finally do it yourself.
So… how’s that working for you?
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**“How’s That Working for You?”**
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