Ever since I was in a pedestrian accident that left me half functioning, it’s been a constant struggle. It happened more than ten years ago. I don’t appear injured because I make huge efforts to mask my pain for the short time I’m going around. I am a proud and realistic person and I know that others have their own issues. I used to talk about my tragedy due to my pain and frustration but I realized that I was only aggravating my own stress because people were acting like it’s not a big deal. I could see the lack of empathy on their faces. That started to annoy me and I swore that the only time they will hear from me was when I had success. And I had quite a few…Others were trying to convince me that I’m not doing enough work on my feelings. Are they joking?!…Do they even know what it feels to be ran over by an SUV, get nerve damages head to toes, 24 hours pain and high anxiety every time you see a car?!…No! They don’t. Because they don’t care. After I stopped “whining”, I started doing every type of investigation regarding my physical injuries. In case you wonder, I’m doing much better due to learning to work with my body. After 50 plus doctors, several surgeries and little improvement, I decided to get X-rays and ultrasounds on every part of my body. It turned out that my biggest problems were coming from my feet! The only parts I had working (?) No doctor ever recommended to check my unstable feet. Even when I mentioned my many sprains on both feet. It makes sense that without strong feet and ankles, the lower body will develop issues. Who Knew?… Oh, wait! Maybe a doctor?…

The staring issue Can someone tell me what is the deal with constant starring these days? I get the fact that I don’t look “American”, but it’s a common knowledge that starring is rude and disrespectful. I am not talking about few seconds glance, i am talking about hours long type of stares. It gives such a bad image to all Americans because it’s indecent and in many ways discriminatory. For this civilized country, it’s mind blowing how people lack such common civility. That’s why, education should start at home and not in schools. Little things like decency, respect and proper behaviour are learned in close-knit environment, not on the streets. I used to go to college full time and the entire time I was there, my classmates were starring at me. I was wondering if they are high on something, because they looked down right stupid. This went on for 4 years!!! Some of them were repeating the same year just to hang out with girls. I found this sickening. I started to think that this country has too many mentally challenged people that should be institutionalised, not roaming freely in society. When I moved to evening classes, I found out that a couple of psychos switch to the same schedule as mine. They were stalkers that never did anything, but it was so crazy to see such disturbed creatures obsessing over me. Wow! Even worse, the teachers knew about it but they were acting clueless. Too many men are at home, doing nothing but drooling at women, instead of protecting them. We are not talking about physical protection, we are talking about the lack of respect that should be implemented by them. I’m not the type to walk around half naked, nor flirting with anyone, so there is no reason to receive such disrespect from some pot headed people or drunks. Just because I’m unique looking and attractive, doesn’t give anyone the right to invade my space or stare so rudely. Lack of respect and common sense is a big issue in this society and something should be done about it. I’m sure that the same men would not appreciate this behaviour towards their wives, daughters or mothers from others. So, let’s try to be respectful and act more mature. Hopefully!…

The title is not unique, I know. But that’s why I chose it. Because it’s familiar to all of us. Like a quiet desperation, a silent scream. No voice… It feels that way when you try to be heard and no one does. At the beginning you scream louder, while pounding the thick glass from inside. You almost look crazy. Degraded…lonely. Then comes the shock when you realise that no one cares. You feel lost, shocked again, then enraged. “What’s happening? Where am I?”…. You wonder: “Is this a bad dream?”… it’s not. Just you alone. But not lonely. You have yourself.m, the most important person. You just forgot….and now you remember. “I’m not alone! I’m free! I’m home!” Enjoy. Please send a Like. Thank you. 👍

Every time I look back to my life, I’ve noticed that most of my failures happened for the same reasons. Envy, jealousy, insecurity and stupidly of others. As children, we try hard to impress others hopping for their acceptance. It’s like letting them decide your worth. It is upsetting to realise that I have wasted so much of my precious life in this confusion. No wonder I am obsessed with Cher’s song “If I Could Turn Back Time”, because this is how I feel now. Time is such an important price to pay for getting nothing in return. But been a stubborn and relentless person, I decided to stop letting others deciding my worth. Which I did. Now I know better. It’s like hoping that a King will give his crown to a nobody, after killing his entire family to obtain it. The lies sold to us as kids, make us have these false hopes that we will get the recognition needed. How come nobody tells you the truth? Because of the same reasons mentioned above. Envy, jealously and insecurity on their part. Most people are okay with your success if is not bigger their theirs. Even as a leader, I still failed a lot due to dishonesty and stupidity of my peers. There is no end to it! They keep you busy blaming yourself and making you feel guilty, so you cannot see their true agendas. It’s grotesque and vial. Keeping you oblivious it’s their only weapons. That’s why the world would never have a chance at getting much better. Because most of us are backing up these behaviours by being too coward or too greedy to support fairness amongst us. So stop letting others decide your worth!

Please watch a recorder recital of this poem. Thank you.