9d • 💭 General Discussion
TODAY’S FILE
Or: Congratulations. Apparently We’re All Neurodivergent.
I’ve noticed something recently.
Nobody is neurotypical anymore.
Not one person.
Everyone has ADHD.
Everyone is autistic.
Everyone is dyslexic.
Everyone is dyspraxic.
Everyone is OCD.
The entire population has apparently received a diagnosis during a brief self-reflection exercise in Asda.
“Oh my God, I’m so ADHD.”
Really?
What happened?
“I got distracted.”
Right.
Because I once put deodorant in the fridge, a can of San Pellegrino in the bathroom cupboard and spent forty-five minutes looking for my phone while using it as a torch.
But yes.
Sounds identical.
Then comes:
“I think everyone’s a little bit autistic.”
Do you?
Because I spent most of my life feeling like everyone had secretly been given a handbook on how to be a person and mine got lost in the post.
Maybe you’re referring to enjoying a routine.
I enjoy routines too.
Mine usually involve spending three days planning something, immediately abandoning the plan and then becoming annoyed with myself for not following it.
Who can say?
Then dyslexia.
“Oh I’m probably dyslexic.”
Why?
“I mixed up two words.”
Of course.
And because I once coughed, I assume I’m a chain smoker.
That’s how diagnosis works now.
Makes perfect sense.
Then dyspraxia.
“Oh I’m so dyspraxic.”
Why?
“I walked into a door.”
Interesting.
I once walked into a door frame, apologised to it, dropped my San Pellegrino, got my sleeve caught on the handle, spun round to free myself and headbutted the door on the way back out.
But carry on.
Then OCD arrives.
Usually uninvited.
“Oh I’m literally OCD.”
Why?
“I checked the door twice.”
Twice.
You brave, brave soldier.
Somewhere a person with actual OCD has just checked the hob for the eighteenth time and is wondering if reality itself can be trusted.
But yes.
Twice.
The thing is, everybody gets distracted.
Everybody forgets things.
Everybody gets overwhelmed.
Everybody trips over.
Everybody checks things.
Everybody experiences bits and pieces of human behaviour.
That’s what makes us human.
What isn’t human is spending decades wondering why life seems so much harder than everyone else makes it look.
Wondering why things that appear effortless for other people leave you exhausted.
Wondering why you can be intelligent, capable and determined and still feel like you’re somehow missing information everyone else received.
Wondering why you’re constantly apologising for things you don’t fully understand yourself.
Because when people say:
“Everyone’s a little bit ADHD.”
or
“Everyone’s a little bit autistic.”
what they usually mean is:
“I occasionally experience one tiny fragment of something you’ve spent a lifetime navigating.”
Those are not the same thing.
And that’s okay.
You don’t need to understand exactly what it’s like.
You probably never will.
I don’t know what it’s like to be six foot four.
That doesn’t mean I’m about to tell tall people we’re all a little bit tall because I stood on a chair once.
And honestly?
That’s probably enough.
Because if you’re not neurodivergent, trust me.
You don’t want to be.
You’d probably want to hand your brain back after a few hours.
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