What if someone genuinely experiences racism when no racism was intended?
Before you react, read that again.
A conversation this week reminded me how complex human perception really is.
A client raised a concern that a member of my team had spoken to them disrespectfully on Zoom because they were a person of colour.
After reviewing the meeting, it was clear my colleague had no knowledge of her race. Their camera was off the entire call.
What was also clear was that my colleague had simply been very direct.
The intention wasn't discrimination.
But the impact still felt deeply personal.
And that's where it gets interesting for us as coaches.
Because our clients don't experience our words objectively.
They experience them through the filter of their past.
If a client has spent years being dismissed, judged, or made to feel small, those experiences don't disappear the moment they sit down with you.
They become the lens through which everything you say gets interpreted.
That doesn't mean every reaction is about you.
But it does mean your client's reactions almost always make perfect sense once you understand the experience they're reacting from.
Here's the part most coaches miss.
You can't fully understand that lens in someone else if you've never properly examined your own.
The patterns shaping how you interpret feedback, conflict, and criticism in your own life are the same patterns that shape how present and how effective you can actually be in the room with a client.
Empathy doesn't require agreement.
It requires understanding.
And understanding starts with turning that same lens on yourself first.
This is exactly what we will go through on next Thursday's live masterclass.
Heal The Past So You Don't Get Triggered
Because the coach who's done their own work shows up completely differently to the coach who hasn't, and clients can always feel the difference.