Could self-imposed discipline and daily routines be ways to control life? I enjoyed mopping the floor every evening until I couldn't do it anymore. It feels like I started to see it (also) as a Zen practice, as a structure. It appears that my inner guru or autopilot refuses to have a rigid structure imposed by my mind. It is like living in the future and not in the now.
Or is this my mind telling me a story and trying to control the chaos I am in?
I will try to spend the day without elements of a future-oriented structure. It is not spontaneity. It is doing things because I want them to be done, not because they match my plan for my life.
Thank you for listening.