Today I spoke with a young man who feels "stuck" in his transition.
Transitions are like this. You do not pass until you are supposed to. They always last too long in the middle an and never long enough when you look back.
He asked me, "Have there been times when you did what you were supposed to do and it did not look like you thought it should look?"
There are lessons in this that I am supposed to teach him. But the hardest lesson of them all is this: who decides what it should look like? And WHEN?
When God trains a man, He allows them to purchase relevance and relatability and authenticity to such a degree that they cannot be ignored in future seasons. You walk through what you're called to address - and it is not easy.
One of my anointing is to show you the trustworthiness of God in a way that is irrevocable. This cannot be done with the mind. The realm of the intellect cannot keep up with the realm of the spirit.
I know God is who He is not because of what I see but what I perceive.
God is trustworthy whether I get my way or whether I get the opposite.
God is trustworthy when it works and when it doesn't.
God is trustworthy at the top and He is trustworthy at the bottom.
But I did not learn this in a book.
My anointing is not powered by what I have learned. You do not LEARN to walk into the river of anointing - you find it and feel it while you are drowning in the middle of the river.
I am sorry that it is this way. There are many who will disagree - not because they know but because they simply do not like it.
It sounds bad when you look through the lens of the intellect but in the spirit it is a wonderful gift.
What better way to train than to discover RIGHT at the edge, just before you need it. If you discover your anointing any other way you will think you own it.
But I did not respond this way to him, though. I just said "Yes." Then laughed.
There was deep emotion, not because I said anything special, but because anointing was surfacing. The moment you shift from speaking to a person's mind to speaking to their heart - you have stepped into anointing.
Here is what I said:
"The areas you feel pushed under water are the areas you are being trained into your anointing. Some of my favorite seasons ended before I was ready... earlier than they should have. Some of my hardest seasons lasted way too long. The people I wanted to stay did not, and those I did not care about came. This is the way, sometimes, with training."
You cannot control and connive your way to power.
Sometimes it is wild and unrelenting, like walking through the eye of a hurricane and trying to stay within it without losing yourself.
I am sorry that it is this way. It just is.
"But," I said, "I have learned secrets." GRIEVE quickly. FORGIVE immediately. And try on the eyes of God, which requires turning yours off."
The issue is not one of resilience but of PERCEPTION. How long can you go when you know that it is RIGHT? How long can you endure when you know that you are not allowed to die? How much more would you carry if it was for your children?
We HURRY and WORRY through some of life's richest adventures, and then wonder why we are so tired all the time.
What if you knew that God was with you? And what if you knew that every moment, every heartache, every problem, and every second of every day was a cumulative stack orchestrated by God to prove something good to you?
What if the rejection wasn't labeled as rejection but instead labeled as training?
What if the finances were not meant to deflate and destroy you but to show you how to use superior weaponry no one else taught you how to use?
What if every betrayal was a protective measure to save you from a future you never wanted in the first place?
The lens of heaven is not ignorant. It is just bigger than yours and longer than yours and further than yours.
Why not ask for it?
My prayer has been simply this for a long time: "God, show me how you look at this... loan me your eyes, for a few minutes... do not let me get trapped in my own understanding - elevate me with the altitude of your viewpoint so I can see what you see."
THEN WALK FORWARD AND DO NOT WAVER.
One day the water will not be above your head but beneath you. You will fall a lot, learning how to surf. The waves will turn from enemy to ally. You will not be here forever.
And it will be okay. Better than that - it will be worth it!