My nervous system is out of whack. I'm deeply traumatized and scared all the time.
And because of this, I aim at the wrong things.
I chase money and power when what I really need is peace and calm.
Because the tool is not the state.
If I can create the state then the tool becomes irrelevant.
So I am experimenting with the ancient art of purposefully calming my ass down.
I'm using The Monroe Institute's meditation app called Expand and using their bibaural beats to help me relax at least for a little bit each day.
This may do no good but, it's worth a shot. I will outline my procedures and results here.