May 2 • The Shadow Work Chronicles
Need support
Hey guys, I'm trying to do things differently and not just suffer in silence anymore 😅
So... Basically in a nutshell, my daughter told me her dad is buying her a laptop AND an iPad.
And I'm actively working on feeling SAFE around her and letting my guard down etc. So immediately preceding this, I was doing my puzzle and relaxed etc (which is big for me! I always project that but I rarely actually feel that)
Anyway, then she dropped that bomb. I stayed calm but also was like well you already have a laptop etc. And you don't need an ipad..
And she got intense because she didn't like my answer and she acts like her dad is in charge of ME and MY household and yeah it triggered my fear. I understand society school etc bringing these ideas but when her own dad is constantly undermining and even sabotaging the values I'm trying to teach her, it IS upsetting.
So my point is, I'm ultimately REALLY proud of myself because I'm telling myself to PAUSE before responding to them.
It is HARD and honestly disrespectful when others disregard boundaries.
It is HARD when you get treated as if you're the strictest parent in the world merely for being a responsible parent 🤯
But ultimately, I know I'm doing the right thing for her. He gets her things instead of spending time with her. She's even said that.
So I have to remind myself of the long game. I'm teaching and enforcing values.
It is HARD to know that they're spending thousands of dollars on unnecessary and harmful electronics for her, (and making my life even more stressful than it already is!!) when I'm struggling to pay bills..
But ultimately, the biggest thing is, I need to remind myself i have the right to walk away
I felt TRAPPED at the table as she was staring me down and had attitude and was like WHY???
But... I have rights too. And I can literally stand up and walk.
That might sound silly but when you've lived your entire life in fear, you freeze...
I don't have ANYONE in person backing me up on ANYTHING. So yeah it is quite difficult.
But not impossible!
So, I'm sharing this because I definitely had a moment where I'm like I need to text them RIGHT NOW and ask them to please respect my boundary etc.
But the REALITY is, if I had done that a bit ago, when I was fired up, I wouldn't have been able to handle certain responses.
I hope this helps!! Bottom line: PAUSE before responding.
I still don't have it figured out yet. But I do feel a bit calmer.
Thank you for letting me share!! 🥰
4
7 comments
Need support
powered by
skool.com/innerpeacewalker-worth-waker-6074
Awaken your self-worth, confront the root cause of your challenges, and transform your mindset. Step into your power—this is where change begins
Suggested communities
Powered by