I was doing a little writing today for the initiate men book I am co-writing. I took a dive into what the stages of manhood could look like for each one of us as boys turning into men. The Path of Manhood Manhood happens in stages. Some men define a moment or two in their life that formed them into the man they are today. Other men have been through a specific series of steps and training to get them ready for manhood journey. Taking a page out of history, I believe the Middle Ages captured something profound with their understanding of the slave, warrior, knight, and king. Each archetype captures the stages of initiation from boyhood into manhood well: 1. Slave - you serve a master 2. Warrior - you strive after things 3. Knight - you protect a cause 4. King - you steward your kingdom 1. Slave — You Serve a Master “You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.” — 1 Corinthians 7:23 “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.” — Romans 6:22 “Before a man can be a true warrior, he must have been a beloved son. Before he can rule, he must have been trained in battle.” — John Eldredge, The Way of the Wild Heart 2. Warrior — you strive after things “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called…” — 1 Timothy 6:12 “Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.” — Psalm 144:1 “The Warrior learns to fight for a cause greater than himself. He is being trained to defend, to protect, and to stand.” — John Eldredge, Fathered by God 3. Knight — you protect a cause “Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.” — Psalm 82:3 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” — John 15:13 “Knighthood was all about service, sacrifice, and loyalty to a greater cause. So is authentic manhood.” — Robert Lewis, Raising a Modern-Day Knight

I think it's really important to have ceremonial aspects to manhood beyond just beers in the backyard. I think about the times that my dad took me out and made intentional steps towards teaching me virtue and what it means to be a man. I feel like those ceremonial moments are the ones I remembered the most and carried them with me still to this day. 1. 13th birthday: we went to the adoration chapel close by and spent some time in prayer. We talked about the physical changes I began going through as well as the idea of taking responsibility in life. We then went and grabbed a steak dinner and he gave me a classic shaving kit and scripture. I learned how to shave that night once we got back home. 2. 16th birthday: My dad took me out again and shared with me how to respect women and treat them as I was coming into age. He also went in more depth on for basic tenants of manhood – take responsibility, love sacrificially, lead courageously, and reject passivity. 3. 18th birthday. My dad prepared a initiation ceremony with a community of men closest to me. I walked up a mountain, reflected on virtue of manhood, and was anointed with oil in front of all the men. This was a very defining moment for me where the community of men recognized the choice I made to choose manhood for my life. There was no confusion after that moment of whether or not I was a man. These are just a few ceremonial moments in my life that my dad intentionally set up for me. These moments I will never forget. Even if you didn't have moments like these, there are still defining moments for you and your life. Question: What stories do you hold onto that remind you of who you are as a man?