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Jan 12 • Victories and Development
Honoring Conversations to build stronger Relationships
Have you ever tried to convince a child to do something they just don’t want to do; or perhaps a fully-grown adult?
Forcing your opinion on others, no matter your position or relationship with the other person can be very ineffective. Others will be more likely to be interested in your opinion once they have felt heard by you. Debate rarely gets converts. Listening and further curiosity (even if you vehemently disagree with the other person’s point of view) opens the door to wiser thinking.
Instead of debating, we can show curiosity. Here are some ideas to take the conversation deeper and create more listening, inclusion and connection.
Before we get to some potentially conversation expanding questions, first let’s contemplate some questions we might want to avoid:
- Yes/No questions tend to finish conversations or limit them from expansion and understanding.
2. Questions with an insinuating inflection can put the other person on the defensive.
- WHY is a loaded word in English, and tends to put the other person on the defensive. Using “for what reason” or what was …..? Can be much softer and inviting.
Some more open questions are:
Tell me more about that idea.
Can you explain that in more detail?
What might happen if we follow that idea?
How will this affect you?
How will this affect those closest to you?
What if…..
What do you think about the other potential outcomes?
What do you think could be the best idea?
I’d be interested to hear what you think?
For what reason do some people follow that line of thinking and why do some go in a different direction?
Deepening the conversation:
Hmm, that’s an interesting (creative, helpful) thought/idea/point of view. How could that play out?
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being certain, how do you think this potential solution could work out?
What would be the potential benefits and challenges?
How excited would you be about this solution once you start hitting those challenges?
Knowing the challenges, what other solutions come to mind?
I really appreciate you sharing your ideas. They help me expand my understanding.
What do you feel about these ideas? Do you already use open questions? How might you use open questions more often?
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Honoring Conversations to build stronger Relationships
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