Each of us has assumptions about things we don’t have knowledge of. In fact, that is exactly what assumptions are: not-knowledge. We fill our gaps in knowledge with what we conclude in our own imaginations. And if we aren't careful, we will consider those imaginations as facts… when truly, they're just assumptions of missing information. Once we conclude on an imaginary assumption we are satisfied with, we then settle with the thoughts and emotions that come with it. I see two ways we come to these assumed conclusions:
1. Our emotions create imaginary scenarios in our minds to justify themselves.
I witnessed an example of this when at a hotel recently, the fire alarm turned on in the middle of the night, waking many of us up. Turns out it was a false alarm. When a group of us had gathered in the lobby, people began expressing their assumptions about how the fire alarm started. One person, who was calm and seemed at peace, had assumed it was likely a child who walked by, pulling it, not knowing. This man created a story in his imagination of an innocent child. Immediately, another man, with a scowl on his face and anger behind his voice, interjected and declared that it just had to be some drunk who did it on purpose. I witnessed, as those who were also upset agreed with this man, and those who weren’t, concluded that the innocent child was a better assumption. Ironically, we never found out what actually happened. However, the next morning, both of those stories were expressed openly in the lobby with a bit more certainty in their voices. We will likely never know the truth behind the fire alarm incident. Furthermore, it’s also likely these people will never change their emotions or the story they crafted about it either.
2. Our consciousness creates imaginary scenarios in our minds to justify itself.
A few examples of this occurred while at that same hotel; the people in the room above me were stomping all over the place. It had gotten so bad that I started to get upset, saying to myself, “What are they doing up there? Marching back and forth, stomping to see if they’ll fall through the floor?” After a little while longer, it continued, and then I exclaimed, “What is going on? It sounds like they're running a marathon up there!” My emotions began to get the best of me. In that moment, I fell under the first example; my emotions were crafting stories for me to justify themselves.
However, I noticed this and decided that I didn’t want to be upset and would prefer to be at peace. So I consciously crafted a new story: “I’d like to imagine that it’s a couple on vacation and they are up there dancing together and playing with their children, having an amazing time together, loving life.” The moment I thought that, my emotions immediately changed from upset to full of joy. Did the circumstances change? No, they still stomped all over the place. But I was in harmony with it. It did not bother me again for the remainder of my stay.
There was another time while driving, a car rushed by, nearly hitting me. My coworkers immediately began expressing their frustration with that individual and asserted the stories they imagined for why they did it…all negative, of course. I spoke up and said, they probably didn’t mean any ill towards us, maybe they’re in an emergency and need to get to the hospital.
A similar situation happened a few days later, and when my coworkers began getting hyped up again, I just began to openly pray for the driver. This calmed everyone down. Instead of letting our emotions create stories, we can craft better ones.
Here’s my take on crafting these stories. When we lack the full story, we create our own to fill those gaps. Most of the time, they’re generated by our emotions. If we’re creating imaginary motives, scenarios, and assumptions anyway, why not create ones that benefit me and those around me?
Pastor Stovall, of Abundant Life Church once asserted, “What you focus on shapes your response” and if we’re not careful, our thoughts will become more real than reality, causing us to react to that false reality.
Like my good friend, Stephen Hendrick once said, “We need to get pre-conceived notions out of our heads.” Our minds and emotions will craft many stories far from true.
One way we can overcome this is by following the advice from Paul’s letter to the church of Corinth, “Bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”
The moment your emotions start coming to conclusions that don’t exalt the Lord or at bring others up, then immediately reject that story, and craft one that does…or maybe don’t craft a story at all. Not everything needs your opinion or stamp of approval. It’s okay if you just move on without coming to a conclusion. Let go, find harmony, keep moving forward, and always remember; whatever story you craft, you’re likely to be wrong.
Like Bill Smith once declared, “Habits lead you to lose sensitivity to growth, causing an even larger problem; You Think You Know.”
Hardly anyone ever gives us a hard time about creating stories that come from emotional moments and cater to our confirmation biases. But when you consciously change the narrative of your stories, then people want to question your sanity. However, we’re all crafting imaginations, and the stories we tell ourselves have a huge impact on our emotions, opinions, attitude, decisions, happiness, and many other areas of life. In a way, the stories we craft control our lives… so, let’s control those stories.