If the stories we craft have a significant amount of influence and control over our lives, then understanding how those thoughts are formed can help us reacquire control over them; therefore, regaining control over our lives. If we leave our thoughts on default, then it’s likely that our emotions, biases, and thinking habits will provide them for us. Leonardo da Vinci once said, “The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.” Similar to leaving food out, it’s going to mold and rot over time. The same thing happens to us because of our sinful nature. This is where becoming an intentional thinker plays a powerful role in taking back control of our emotions, stories, and ultimately our lives. In his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, John C. Maxwell writes, “A minute of thought is worth more than an hour of talk.” However, too often we spend more time emotionalizing and complaining about everything. For some people, justifying their emotions and bad decisions is the only thinking they know how to do. Learning to think for yourself, process your thoughts, and the thoughts of others is a skill set that will bless all areas of your life. Chris Hodges explained this concept well when he said, “Find a plan to control your thoughts, find a place to think your thoughts, find a person to stretch your thoughts.” I’ve personally seen many people change the course of their lives by simply changing their thinking. - Carlee was stuck sabotaging her own successes for over 30 years - Samuel struggled with making and keeping friends - Charles was paralyzed by imposter syndrome - Racheal was unable to make progress towards her goals - I personally struggled with being a leader There was a lot of work that followed each of these revelations in order to achieve the results we wanted. But it all started with the way we thought about something. Our thinking was the number one thing holding us back, and yet at the same time, our thoughts were also the number one solution. Here’s what stands out to me: each of our original thoughts was by default.

Each of us has assumptions about things we don’t have knowledge of. In fact, that is exactly what assumptions are: not-knowledge. We fill our gaps in knowledge with what we conclude in our own imaginations. And if we aren't careful, we will consider those imaginations as facts… when truly, they're just assumptions of missing information. Once we conclude on an imaginary assumption we are satisfied with, we then settle with the thoughts and emotions that come with it. I see two ways we come to these assumed conclusions: 1. Our emotions create imaginary scenarios in our minds to justify themselves. I witnessed an example of this when at a hotel recently, the fire alarm turned on in the middle of the night, waking many of us up. Turns out it was a false alarm. When a group of us had gathered in the lobby, people began expressing their assumptions about how the fire alarm started. One person, who was calm and seemed at peace, had assumed it was likely a child who walked by, pulling it, not knowing. This man created a story in his imagination of an innocent child. Immediately, another man, with a scowl on his face and anger behind his voice, interjected and declared that it just had to be some drunk who did it on purpose. I witnessed, as those who were also upset agreed with this man, and those who weren’t, concluded that the innocent child was a better assumption. Ironically, we never found out what actually happened. However, the next morning, both of those stories were expressed openly in the lobby with a bit more certainty in their voices. We will likely never know the truth behind the fire alarm incident. Furthermore, it’s also likely these people will never change their emotions or the story they crafted about it either. 2. Our consciousness creates imaginary scenarios in our minds to justify itself. A few examples of this occurred while at that same hotel; the people in the room above me were stomping all over the place. It had gotten so bad that I started to get upset, saying to myself, “What are they doing up there? Marching back and forth, stomping to see if they’ll fall through the floor?” After a little while longer, it continued, and then I exclaimed, “What is going on? It sounds like they're running a marathon up there!” My emotions began to get the best of me. In that moment, I fell under the first example; my emotions were crafting stories for me to justify themselves.

For many people I’ve known throughout life, thinking was something that, if it happened at all, only did so after their emotions did all the work upfront. I’ve come to notice that if you watch and listen to people you’ll see many times our emotions are what decide our words, reactions, thoughts, and decisions. Often, we don’t even know how or why we came to the conclusions we did; we just feel very strongly about them. It’s only afterwards that we then justify our conclusions by attempting to bring logic into the equation. My first mentor, Dan Lok, would always say, “People buy with emotion and justify with logic.” He would explain that people will always purchase an item inside their emotions before they ever purchase it physically. I believe we do this in other areas of life too. We feel a certain way about someone or what they said, buy-in to those emotions, and then justify our emotions with what seems like logic. How we interact with others on the job, people who cut you off in traffic, church members, and friends, are all interactions that we purchased emotionally first. I’ve seen people get offended by a compliment because they “felt” like it was an insult. Their feelings got in the way of their ability to think. I’m convinced that many of the people we encounter are letting their emotions do about 80% or more of their thinking for them. And yes, that can include you and myself. If we aren’t intentional with choosing to think, our emotions will do that for us. Ironically, emotions come to very strange conclusions. Things that will never make sense no matter how much logic you try to justify it with. It’s just simply wrong and far from what’s real. But, we will swear by it, becoming even more emotional and justify harder, using anything and everything we can to validate ourselves. You see this with couples when they argue about something and each brings up past issues from irrelevant moments, all to validate themselves. However, it’s almost never about the things that are brought up and it's almost always about the emotions people are feeling.

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The investments we make in life almost always have a return value. Like the term ROI (Return on Investment), whenever you make deposits into anything, it's with the expectation that you will be receiving something of equal or greater value in return. The bigger the investment, the greater the return. When investing in stocks, the more stocks you buy of the right investment, the more value you receive in return in the future. It takes time to see that investment grow, and much of the market growth is determined by the actions of the company you choose to invest in. If they make good decisions, your investment increases; if they make bad decisions, your investment decreases. Similar to a 401k, the more you invest over the years, the greater the return will be. You don’t get that return immediately, but it does grow and become worth more as time goes on and you keep putting into it. When choosing to invest in yourself, career, education, leadership, finances, others, faith, skillsets, stocks, 401k, or whatever you decide, you will rarely get to determine the amount you’ll receive from those investments. Everyone would like to invest $10 into something and get $1,000 back immediately, yet it’s unlikely to happen. However, you do get to choose what you invest in. Additionally, you also get to choose where the returns are deposited. Like telling your job which bank account you want your paychecks to be direct deposited into. You may not choose how much your paycheck is, but you do decide where you receive the money. This also applies to other areas of your life, if you invest in your ability to lead others, then you receive a return in your leadership bank account. You may not choose how much the return is, but you do choose where the investment goes. Likewise with your faith, finances, communication, career, skills, mindset, and the list goes on. By making those decisions to invest in the areas you’d like a return on, then a return in that area is what you will receive.