How to get over losing someone.
HOW TO GET OVER LOSING SOMEONE?
A HEARTWARMING ANSWER BY A ZEN MONK
A woman once asked a Zen Buddhist monk:
“How do I get over losing someone I loved deeply?
Everywhere I go, I still feel their absence.
I try to move on… but my heart refuses.”
The monk looked at her gently and asked:
“When a candle lights another candle…
does its flame disappear?”
The woman softly replied,
“No.”
The monk smiled.
“Love is the same.
The people we lose physically are gone from our sight…
but not from the life they touched.”
The woman lowered her head and whispered,
“But the pain feels unbearable.”
The monk nodded slowly.
“Because grief is love with nowhere to go.
You are not only mourning their absence…
you are mourning the moments you thought you would still have.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“Then how do I stop hurting?” she asked.
The monk replied:
“You do not heal by forcing yourself to forget them.
You heal by learning to carry their love differently.”
He continued:
“The mind says:
‘They are gone.’
But the heart remembers:
‘They were here.’
And that matters forever.”
The woman sat silently as the monk spoke again:
“In Buddhism, we are taught that everything in life is temporary.
Flowers bloom and fall.
The sun rises and sets.
Even the people we love cannot stay forever.
Suffering comes when we demand permanence from a world built on change.”
Then he pointed to a tree beside them.
“Look at this tree.
Every autumn, it lets go of its leaves.
Not because it stops loving them…
but because life asks it to trust the seasons.”
The woman began to cry quietly.
The monk gently said:
“You will never completely ‘get over’ someone you truly loved.
But one day, the memories will stop cutting you open
and start warming you instead.”
Then he added softly:
“So until that day comes…
be patient with your grief.
Talk about them.
Pray for them.
Write what you wish you could still say to them.
Cry when your heart needs to.
Spend time with people who make the pain feel lighter.
And slowly return your attention to the life still waiting for you.
Do not rush healing.
A wound touched by real love takes time to become gentle again.”
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How to get over losing someone.
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