Jul 29 • 🏆 Wins
I was aware of being in sympathetic activation
Today I became more aware of how my nervous system went into fight/flight mode (or sympathetic activation, as described in the Hair Symptoms Tracker)
What happened was:
- I was firstly triggered over a small thing with my girlfriend (which contributed to nervous system tension)
- I was then approached my father - I'm not usually scared of him, but sometimes my nervous system feels unease around him, which I can't really explain
- I sat down and browsed the internet for plane tickets, with him sitting behind me
- During that time, I noticed many different symptoms:
- Fear activation, low level unsafety
- Tension in my scalp, especially my top hair
- I felt watched and judged, as he was sitting behind my back
- As we were browsing, I felt like I wanted to go away and just leave him be
- Not going away caused my body to have increased tension and energy in my body - a helpless feeling - in the end, this caused me to feel drained and fatigued after this event
My father is a good (bald, hehe) man, and I love him. I realize my nervous system reaction is my responsibility, and that he didn't knowingly cause this unease in me -- but regardless of that, I first need to regulate myself. On my own. To feel safe. In my body.
This noticing is huge for two reasons:
1) it's something that had always been there, something that I felt unconsciously but were never able to verbally expres
2) I was consciously aware of one of the biggest causes of my hair loss (probably)! I was able to notice the momentary tension in my scalp, my bodily freeze feeling and this fatigue - and I have a system to describe this with! This is definitely getting closer to my balding's root cause!
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I was aware of being in sympathetic activation
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