🌿Personal Experience🪷 · Grow Inner Wealth

🌿Personal Experience🪷

This is what happened to me this morning. Upon waking at 05:18 AM. I experienced the following … It was not a dream.

I woke suddenly with an intense heaviness on/within my chest, I couldn’t move, I have no medical history of asthma, and my histamine levels are normally balanced. What followed felt like a severe asthma-like episode: gasping, choking, wheezing, air hunger, and near loss of consciousness.

I could barely whisper, I restrictively got the words out “My Creator and Destroyer of All … do not “Return to Sender ... Transmute this energy into All that is Love, Light, and Peace.” After that, I either lost consciousness or fell into a deep, abrupt sleep.

I woke up again at 07:00 AM to the sound of my second alarm without a sign of the asthma attack … convinced the experience had been a dream ... l checked for concrete evidence in my journal; it’s a habit of mine to journal upon waking up from sleeping. It seemed I did journaled immediately documenting the symptoms while they were still present.

I want to be clear and responsible in how I share this. I am not drawing conclusions. I am holding several possibilities at once; physiological, psychological, and interpersonal. At the moment the episode began, a particular person came strongly to my mind, someone who unfortunately, does suffer from severe allergies that escalates into devastating asthma attacks, the same someone I was forced to release and let go the early part of last year as painful as it was…Whether this was coincidence, projection through hurt, transference, or something else entirely; remains unknown and shall remain unknown 🪷

A few members of this community and I discussed a few possible interpretations, and I felt it was important that I share this experience transparently … without sensationalizing it or dismissing it.

For clarity and care: I have scheduled an appointment with my primary care provider to rule out any medical factors and to cover all physical bases of my health and wellbeing.

I’m sharing this not as an answer … but as an experience, held with discernment, humility, and responsibility which lead me to further wanting to sharing the following information with you all in gratitude. Thank you for participating…

Experience — “Return to Sender,” vs "Transmutation"

It is powerful when the heart forgives … not as a spiritual performance, but as an act of inner authority. Painful experiences are no longer archived as trauma but logged as instruction in one’s ascension. What once fractured the psyche becomes data. What once wounded the heart becomes discernment.

I consciously transmute all that no longer serves my highest purpose into love, light, and peace … not to excuse what occurred, but to end its dominion within me. Heavy, dark energy loses leverage the moment it is metabolized rather than resisted.

You will eventually realize that you possess the authority not only to reject the energy … but to end its lineage.

Why “Returning to Sender” Keeps People Stuck

“Returning to Sender” is often framed as empowerment, but psychologically, it is a refined avoidance strategy.

At its core, it says:

“This did not affect me.”
“This is not mine to process.”
“I refuse contact.”

While this may feel strong, it quietly preserves victim positioning. The nervous system never completes the experience. The psyche never integrates meaning. The charge remains alive … just displaced.

From a depth-psychology standpoint, what is refused does not dissolve; it repeats. As Carl Jung made it unmistakably clear: what is not made conscious is lived out as fate. Returning energy unchanged ensures it will re-enter your life wearing a different face, events, situation ...

This is why the same relational patterns, power struggles, betrayals, and emotional injuries recurs … even in spiritually literate people. The ritual changes; the lesson does not.

What Transmutation Actually Requires (and Why It Liberates)

Transmutation is not passive … It is not sentimental ... It is psychological labor and spiritual maturity.

To transmute is to say:

“This impacted me.”
“I will feel it without becoming it.”
“I will extract meaning, neutralize the charge, and release it transformed.”

This process:

completes the nervous system’s stress cycle
integrates the shadow instead of exiling it
converts emotional pain into symbolic understanding
collapses repetition at its root

Spiritually … Transmutation is alchemy

Psychologically … It is integration

Existentially … It is the moment a person stops outsourcing their power to circumstance.

Where “Returning to Sender” preserves polarity, “Transmutation” ends the conflict.

The Hard Truth (and the Invitation)

People cling to “Returning to Sender” because “transmutation” demands accountability without self-blame. It asks you to stay present with discomfort long enough for it to teach you. That is not fashionable spirituality. It is effective spirituality.

Protection keeps you intact.

Transmutation makes you sovereign.

One creates safety.

The other creates freedom.

And freedom … earned, embodied, irreversible … is how consciousness actually evolves.

We don’t change the world by deflecting pain.

We change the world by ending its unconscious inheritance … one human being at a time.

That is the work … And it starts here.

— RozaA, with Love & Light

Key References