Hello, my community I am truly grateful to have each and every one of you here. My team and I have been working hard behind the scenes to create meaningful, supportive, and educational materials that we believe can make a difference. Because many of you have been part of this journey since the very beginning, we want to show our appreciation by offering our materials at a discounted rate for our community. We are currently exploring interest in preordering our upcoming workbook and materials, and we would love to hear from those who may want early access and special community pricing. Thank you for your continued support, trust, and encouragement as we continue growing together. Your presence and support mean more than words can express. Vane 💜

When we lose a loved one to suicide, it is natural to search for answers. We often find ourselves asking why this happened and trying to make sense of a loss that feels unimaginable. Sometimes we may know some of the struggles our loved one faced, and at other times we may feel confused by what we did not see or fully understand. During grief, it is also common to look for someone or something to blame. Many people turn that blame inward, while others direct it toward family members, friends, systems, or circumstances. In many ways, the mind is searching for something tangible to hold onto, something that can help explain a choice that feels contrary to human nature itself: the instinct to survive and continue living. Blaming ourselves or others can create the illusion of control. It allows the mind to build a narrative and attempt to complete the unfinished story of why our loved one no longer wanted to continue living. But the reality is that suicide is rarely caused by one single event, person, or circumstance. It is often the result of many complex factors coming together; emotional pain, mental health conditions, trauma, biological vulnerabilities, life stressors, hopelessness, and symptoms that may require significant treatment and intervention. In some cases, these struggles may require hospitalization or intensive care. The truth is that science and mental health research are still working to fully understand one of the most difficult questions in our field: Why do people die by suicide? While research, neuroscience, psychology, and technology continue to advance our understanding, there is still no single explanation that can fully answer this question for every person and every circumstance. What we do know is this: no one person holds the power to completely save another human being from illness, suffering, or chronic mental health struggles. Each individual carries their own internal battles, choices, and responsibilities. This does not mean we stop loving, supporting, or helping one another…it simply means that the burden of absolute responsibility does not belong to us.

As I reflect on how far I’ve come in my healing journey, I think about the struggles I endured to reach a place where happiness and peace felt possible. For a long time, I believed they weren’t. Depression had taken hold of me for several years. On the outside, I was functioning, I went to work, made meals, and took care of my responsibilities. But inside, I felt empty. Flat. Lifeless. My thoughts were consumed with one question: What could I have done differently? Grief, I’ve come to understand, is a form of love. In those first years, I didn’t know what to do with my grief—with the love that felt unexpressed, trapped inside my heart. I tried to bury it. I didn’t want to cause pain for anyone else. Carrying it alone felt heavy, but I was determined not to burden others with my despair. It took years of research, lived experience, therapy, and deep self-healing for me to realize something profound: suicide loss requires connection. It requires community. It requires an outlet. So often, we hesitate to reach out. We fear others won’t understand, won’t be supportive, or may judge us. We tell ourselves we shouldn’t burden anyone with our pain. But in doing so, we isolate ourselves in the very moment we need connection the most. This is why this community matters. Here, I want us to speak openly about suicide loss—freely and without judgment. I want us to build the kind of support that many of us didn’t receive from those who haven’t experienced this kind of pain and hopefully never will. The truth is, I love my sister. And because of that love, I will always carry this grief. The difference now is that I no longer carry it alone. I am willing to let others in. To seek support. To be seen. Because maybe, just maybe, when we share the weight together, the heaviness in our hearts can finally begin to breathe.