What I have found, as a survivor, and as someone who works with Trauma Affected children; people tend to put accountability and responsibility on the VICTIM rather than the ABUSER.
I think this comes from societal misunderstandings of Trauma and how it affects the brain of the VICTIM.
Trauma changes the Structure and Function of many areas of the brain: the amygdala, the hippocampus and the pre-frontal cortex.
Memory, emotional regulation, executive functioning and other key functions can be damaged and disabled by on-going/regular trauma.