👉 Two Years Later - I’ll Never Forget That Conversation...

Here we are, two years later and this is one of those examples I’ll never forget, mostly because we are at the same barn and her horse was an eye catching Friesian.

At the time (2 years ago) I was riding Lenny on the neck rope in the arena, there was this beautiful moment where he gave me absolutely everything, mentally there, soft, connected, trying his heart out, so I stopped, praised him, jumped off, and called it a day right there. Think we were busy just 20 minutes.

As I was leaving the arena, another lady was in there with her horse in a bareback pad, bitless setup where clearly her dream was to ride lightly and freely too.

I observed as I rode around that she was walking those endless circles towards the “scary” end of the arena trying to build confidence before getting on. A pattern I see a lot where for some reason people hope the movement itself will fix the problem, instead of having the tools and communication to say:

“Stay with me, connect with me and think with me.”

So I complimented her on her gear (only) and then she asked: “How long did it take you to teach him all that?”

I told her honestly: “Well, we've been together 14 years and I’ve peppered these things in his whole life.”

She stared at me blankly and then asked: “Okay, but how long would it take me to ride safely on a neck rope like that?”

Whilst having this conversation her horse had already pushed her off balance three times, tried to walk away, and was busy playing with her zipper.

So I answered honestly again.

I said if she truly committed, started from scratch, and was willing to learn properly - probably around 2 years to get to a place where she could safely ride in there in all 3 gaits and the rest like self-carriage etc. would follow that. But of course that would depend on her experience, what the horse needed to learn and unlearn, and how much time she was willing to put in.

Her answer?

“Oh… that’s too much for us. I just want to have fun.” And she walked off, quite literally her one way and the horse the other. I kid you not, and that was that. 😅

Yesterday I saw the same pair again, except now the horse had a martingale on, a very strong bit in its mouth, and things were much, much worse. He lost his eye catchiness too.

This time she was already on the horse, but he wouldn’t go forward. Every time she asked, he swished his tail and kicked out behind. Eventually she got off to make him move, got back on, same thing all over again.

Honestly, it made me a bit sad and if I had let it, even frustrated.

Because the very thing she wanted - riding lightly, bareback, bitless, connected was possible, but she saw the time only and not the value of the journey.

Those two years of thoughtful work could have completely changed that partnership, not just the riding.

Instead she got pulled back into tradition, gadgets, and guesswork.

Sure, I could have sugar-coated it and reeled in a potential customer, but that’s not the way I work, and most important, my intuition said no.

I’ve also been in situations many times where my intuition said yes and those turned into really beautiful, successful journeys, sometimes not but that is how the cookie crumbles.

But with her, I could already feel from the mannerisms, the energy, and the way she approached things that it would likely become exhausting (for me) rather than productive.

And that is where for example, I am very careful in here too.

You can offer people information, even free information, but it doesn’t mean they’ll use it.

People have to want to learn, they have to decide for themselves that understanding and education matters more than quick fixes.

Then there’s the money side of it too where people will happily spend €15 on treats while accidentally rewarding the wrong things anyway, €12-15 a day on their lunch every day, €150 on another blanket the horse doesn’t need, or €200 on their third bridle coz the others were not good enough but hesitate to invest €60 in a monthly lesson or €16 per month for example in here (far too cheap) into actually learning and understanding their horse better. Would you like to know how much my education cost...lol? I did not get any freebies.🫣

My point is: I’ll always do my best to open the door, but I won’t run after people who don’t want to walk through it. I just hope that one day they see the door handle and choose to turn it.

And if they do, then I’ll be waiting.

So tell me:

❓What dream with your horse are you truly willing to work patiently for?

❓Have you ever realized later that the basics were actually the missing piece all along?

🐴✨🫶

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