This book exists because no one told the real story about what it costs to chase a dream — and what it takes to survive it. For years, people saw the pictures, the modeling, the travel, the lights, and the glamour.But they didn’t see the fear, the addiction, the homelessness, the broken relationships, or the moments when I didn’t know if I would make it through another day. There was a gap between the image and the truth.And I knew someone out there needed to hear the truth. I wrote this book because I wanted to give a voice to the girl who started modeling at 12, traveled the world, and somehow found her way back to faith, family, and purpose.I wrote it for the women who feel forgotten.For the dreamers who feel lost.For anyone who needs proof that survival is possible. This book isn’t about fame it’s about resilience ,about redemption and about telling the story that almost didn’t get told. That’s why this book exists.

I’m the author who survived the life everyone thought was glamorous. I’m the author who knows what it feels like to chase dreams, lose your way, and wonder if you’ll ever find yourself again.I’m the author who has lived through addiction, fear, broken relationships, and moments when everything felt uncertain — but kept going anyway. My ideal reader is someone who looks strong on the outside but feels tired, overwhelmed, or invisible on the inside.Someone who has made mistakes, faced setbacks, or carried shame they don’t talk about.Someone who is searching for hope, direction, and a reminder that their story is not over. I’ve been there.I’ve lived through seasons where survival was the only goal.I know what it’s like to feel lost and still keep moving forward. That’s why I wrote my book. I wrote it for the woman who feels like she’s starting over.For the dreamer who thinks it’s too late.For the person who needs proof that resilience is real and that healing is possible. My story isn’t about perfection. It is about perseverance and it is about faith, second chances, and finding your way back to yourself. That’s the author I am.

Every place that protects stories deserves a guardian. So I’d like to introduce you to Aurelia, the official mascot of Memoir Skool. Aurelia is a wise celestial owl — the Keeper of Stories — holding a quill and watching over the pages where memories become memoirs. In many traditions, owls symbolize wisdom, reflection, and seeing what others might miss, which felt perfect for a place where we write about life, memory, and the moments that shape us. From now on, Aurelia will be watching over our community as we write, remember, and share our stories together. ✨ Every story matters. ✨ Every memory has meaning. ✨ And sometimes the smallest moment becomes the most powerful chapter. Welcome, Aurelia.

My Third Life – New Mexico When I left Los Angeles and came to New Mexico with my three-year-old daughter, I was starting over again. Tommy Van completely believed in me and my photography. He insisted that I start my own business and get a business license. That’s how Photography by Cristal was born. I was 35 years old, and Tommy was so proud of my work and everything I had accomplished in my life that he did everything he could to support it. He made sure I had computers, printers, lighting, backdrops—everything I needed to build a real studio and start my own photography business. He even sold guitars and equipment he had left just to help make sure I had what I needed to succeed. This photo was taken during that time. Tommy was constantly helping me test lighting and backdrops, taking photos of me so we could show clients what we were capable of creating. He even brought his close friend, photographer Tom Mars from Phoenix, to meet me so we could collaborate and grow the business. That was Tommy. He believed in me before my photography business even had a chance to prove itself. And because of that, Photography by Cristal was born. Some people ride through your life like a song from the Sunset Strip—loud, unforgettable, and impossible to forget. Tommy Van Tommy and I shared decades of life together—long before we were ever married. He was the sound man for Judas Priest for 15 years, rode a Harley, took me to the Rainbow on Sunset to see bands like Mötley Crüe, and once had me riding on the back of his motorcycle in a pink tutu with bottles of Tickle Pink. That was the rock-and-roll Tommy. But there was another side of him too. When I moved to New Mexico and started my third life, Tommy believed in my photography more than anyone. He pushed me to start my own business and helped me build Photography by Cristal from the ground up. The photo here is one Tommy took during our early lighting tests when we went to Whitesands Tommy didn’t just take pictures of me.

I’m sharing two versions of my I Escaped Hollywood… Barely book cover today — one with the artwork and the girl I created, and one with the actual image of me that became part of the cover. Something interesting is happening in my writing process. Since I began, I’ve been speaking my stories out loud and turning them into words with my creative assistant, Ember Rose (yes… that’s what I call my ChatGPT). It’s helped me get memories moving and stories onto the page. But I’m realizing something important. Half of this story feels almost unspeakable — raw, messy, sometimes rated X, and not easy to say out loud or write in a way that feels safe for public spaces or even AI tools. Some parts may belong only inside the book itself. So now I’m standing at a new crossroads as a writer. I may need a different way to write — maybe handwriting, maybe another process — something that lets me move from my words to print without feeling censored or filtered. I’m still figuring out what that looks like in this industry. I’ll be doing some research and reaching out to my S-K-O-O-L partners and writing communities like Bookshop to learn more about how writers handle this part of the journey. Writing a memoir isn’t just remembering. Sometimes it’s learning how to tell the truth in a way you can actually live with. If you’ve ever hit this kind of moment in your writing, I’d love to hear how you navigated it.