My dear sister and daughter in the lord, are you aware that "sometimes" it is very possible for a man to like you or even love you so deeply, yet NOT readily willing to marry you? Calm down! Yes I know, "marriage is not an achievement," as they say. This is to tell you that there are strangely other criteria that influences a man's decision to take a woman as a wife that even has less or nothing to do with love per se. This topic is hard to understand and accept. Yes, I know. But it is what it is! No doubt! Love is a great feeling and perhaps very important. But Tlthere is more to marriage than just love. Think about it! ShamelDdon

Dear ladies, just a quick reminder! Did you know that that guy who is always very quick to gift you or give you anything you demand may not necessarily love you? I know you will say "that is his business. As long as I get what I want, the rest is history. He can go to hell." Smiles! Many ladies will thjnk this way unfortunately. It is sometimes difficult and near impossible to believe or think that a guy that always gives you anything you want that he can afford does not have any interest in spending his future with you. Isn't it? But that is true! Some men gift you or give you what you demand, not because they care about you or love you or even want to be with you for long. This is another difficult topic to understand and accept. Smiles....want to hear more? Shamel Ddon

LOVE YOUR CHILD ENOUGH TO CORRECT THEM Dear parents and guardians, be very careful not to confuse understanding a child’s difficulties with excusing every unacceptable behaviour. Yes, some children live with genuine mental-health, developmental or medical conditions that can influence how they react, communicate or regulate emotions. Those children deserve compassion, patience, appropriate support and professional understanding. But compassion should not mean the complete absence of boundaries. Sometimes behaviour is not simply a symptom. Sometimes it is learned, reinforced or deliberately repeated because the child has discovered that every outburst, insult, aggression or refusal will eventually be defended with, “You know they have a condition.” Children are often far more perceptive than adults realise. If every poor behaviour is excused, the child may gradually learn that consequences do not apply to them. What begins as something small can grow into a pattern so difficult that eventually even the family and wider society struggle to cope with it. That is why early correction matters. Support the child, certainly. Understand their needs. Make reasonable adjustments. Seek professional help where necessary. But also teach responsibility. Teach boundaries. Teach that feelings are valid, but harmful behaviour is not automatically acceptable. Teach them that being angry does not give permission to hurt people. Being frustrated does not justify cruelty. Having a diagnosis does not mean they can never learn better ways of responding. A diagnosis should help us understand how best to support a child, not become a permanent shield from accountability. Parents, sometimes defending everything your child does may feel like love, but real love also has the courage to say: “I understand why you are struggling, but this behaviour is still not acceptable, and I will help you learn a better way.” Correct early. Guide consistently. Love deeply. Because one day, the world may not make the same excuses that home once made.

TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE THE WORLD DOES Parents, communication is more than asking, “How was school?” or “Have you done your homework?” Real communication goes deeper. Ask who their friends are. Ask what worries them. Ask if anyone is pressuring them, bullying them, asking them to keep secrets or making them uncomfortable. Many parents come home tired and retreat into television or their phones while children disappear into games, social media or their bedrooms. Quietly, a distance begins to grow. And that distance can become dangerous. A well-behaved, intelligent child can still be manipulated. Sometimes it begins innocently: “Hold this bag for me.” “Give this to someone.” “Keep this for a few days.” A child may think they are helping a friend without realising they are being drawn into drugs, gangs, weapons or other serious trouble. That is why innocence is not enough protection. Children need awareness, guidance and honest conversations about peer pressure, grooming, bullying, drugs, weapons and unhealthy friendships. Pay attention to sudden changes, unexplained money, secretive behaviour, unfamiliar possessions or new influences. But above all, build a relationship where your child feels safe enough to say: “Mum, something happened.” “Dad, I made a mistake.” “I am scared.” “I need help.” Do not only monitor your children. Know them. Sit with them. Laugh with them. Listen without immediately judging. Ask questions without turning every conversation into an interrogation. Because when communication disappears, other voices will gladly fill the silence. Sometimes one honest conversation can save a child from years of regret. Do not completely bury your mindset and thoughts in the notion that only the so called "bad children" join gangs or are affiliated with gangs. No my dear, good and innocent children can naively be drawned into a gang. They need you to teach them better. ~ ShamelDdon

MARRIAGE WILL TEACH YOU WHAT BOOKS CANNOT You do not need to possess every piece of relationship wisdom on earth before you get married. Marriage does not work that way. There are lessons you can learn before marriage, certainly. You can read, listen, observe, seek counsel and prepare yourself. But some of the wisdom that will sustain a marriage can only be learned inside the marriage itself. You grow into it. You evolve into understanding things that may not have made sense to you before. You begin to realise that marriage is not only about love, attraction and companionship. It is also about patience, tolerance, sacrifice, forgiveness, self-control, humility and sometimes choosing peace over the desperate need to be right. Some lessons are like skills learned on the job. You can study them in theory, but until you are actually living the experience, carrying the responsibility and facing the emotional realities, you may not fully understand them. Trying to explain some marital lessons to someone who has never experienced marriage can be like teaching complex algebra to a five-year-old. The concept may be correct, but the mind may not yet have developed the experience needed to grasp it. Marriage stretches you. It exposes parts of you that you did not know existed. It teaches you when to speak and when to remain quiet. When to insist and when to let go. When to apologise even though you feel misunderstood. When to forgive even when you still remember the pain. And sometimes, yes, when to act a little foolish just to prevent a small issue from becoming a permanent wound. This does not mean tolerating abuse or losing yourself. It means understanding that wisdom in marriage is often less about winning and more about preserving what is valuable. The strongest marriages are not built by people who knew everything before they started. They are built by people who were willing to learn, unlearn, adjust, forgive, grow and keep choosing one another as life taught them new lessons.