CHILD GROOMING: WHEN KINDNESS BECOMES A WEAPON Grooming is one of the cruellest forms of manipulation because it rarely looks dangerous at the beginning. It often looks like love, kindness, mentoring and care. Groomers may use gifts, money, protection and friendship to build trust and loyalty before gradually introducing secrecy, control, crime, gangs or sexual exploitation. This is why grooming is difficult for children to recognise. How do you convince a child that someone who has always been "good" to them may secretly be preparing them for destruction? Vulnerable children from unstable homes are particularly at risk, but even well-raised children can become victims through innocence, naivety and misplaced trust. Many young people trapped in gangs, crime or prostitution never intended to enter that world—they were slowly groomed into it. Parents and guardians must educate their children, know their friends, question unexplained gifts and money, notice unusual secrecy and create a home where children can speak freely. Grooming often follows a dangerous journey: Kindness → Trust → Loyalty → Secrecy → Control → Exploitation. The person preparing to destroy a child's future may not initially arrive carrying a weapon. Sometimes, they arrive carrying a gift. Environment and Association play a very key role in the process. Be vigilant. Be guided! ~ ShamelDdon

SLEEPOVERS: WHEN INNOCENT FUN BECOMES A NIGHTMARE Sleepovers were meant to create beautiful childhood memories—laughter, games, movies, friendship and family bonding. Sadly, what should be innocent fun can sometimes become a parent’s worst nightmare. The heartbreaking case of eight-year-old Alaysha Carradine, who was reportedly shot while staying at her best friend’s home, is a painful reminder that knowing your child’s friend is not the same as knowing the home your child is entering. Parents must look beyond friendship. Know the family. Who lives there? Who visits? Are there weapons in the house? Who will supervise the children? What kind of environment surrounds that home? There have also been disturbing accounts of children facing sexual danger during sleepovers. In one case, a young girl reportedly sensed danger and secretly contacted her mother around midnight to come and get her. That simple decision may have saved her from something she could have carried emotionally for life. Teach your children: “If you ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe, call me—whatever the time. You don't need permission, and you will never be punished for wanting to come home.” Even better, create a secret family code word they can text when they cannot safely explain what is happening. Not every sleepover is dangerous, and many create wonderful memories. But remember: your child is not simply sleeping at a friend’s house; they are entering another family’s private world. Ask questions. Investigate. Trust carefully. You can apologise for being overly cautious. But you may never get the opportunity to undo being too trusting. Protect first. Explain later. ~ ShamelDdon

INHERITANCE IS MORE THAN WHAT MONEY CAN BUY: Let us talk about inheritance. This is something we have all seen and heard some families and siblings fight over, and even k*ll themselves, transfer the hatred to their children and generation unborn. For many people, inheritance means land, houses, money or possessions—something that can be counted, valued or sold. But I have come to understand inheritance differently. Sometimes, the greatest inheritance is not what your parents leave for you, but what they leave inside you. What you see me holding are two items I took from my beloved mother's wardrobe after she passed away. There were many other belongings, including new clothes, perfumes and watches I had sent to her. I gave some away and kept a few. But these two became my inheritance. A towel and a tambourine. To someone else, they may be ordinary possessions. To me, they are priceless because they represent a woman I loved with my heart and soul. My parents may not have been wealthy by society's conventional definition, but they were extraordinarily rich in moral wealth. My mother, especially, left inside me dogged resilience, contentment, self-dignity and self-respect. Likewise my dad who imbibed discipline, boldness and confidence in me from a very tender age. I also kept a few things from my father's wardrobe—not because of their monetary value, but because of who they represent. There is something deeply spiritual about inheritance: people may leave this earth, but something of them continues living through us. Their character becomes our compass, their struggles become our lessons, and their values become seeds carried into another generation. So, whatever your parents leave you, however small, honour it. An old shirt, watch, Bible, photograph or personal belonging can become priceless when the hands that once held it are no longer here. Yes, my mother also left me the conventional inheritance of landed properties. But the land is what she left for me.

Yesterday, I came across a young woman on TikTok lamenting that after seven months in the UK, life and finances were not going as expected. Her story reminded me of a few important lessons about living abroad: 1. Abroad is not paradise. Every country has its struggles. Choose yours wisely. 2. Prepare for difficult seasons. Relocation comes with sacrifice, loneliness and setbacks. Pray not only for an easy journey, but for strength, resilience and GRACE to endure. 3. Manage your expectations. Have goals, but don't allow unrealistic timelines to steal your peace. Seven months is too early to judge a journey that may take years. 4. Never compare journeys. Stay in your lane. You don't know another person's full story, opportunities or sacrifices. 5. Don't only chase money—build yourself. Qualifications, skills, certifications and experience may eventually make one good job worth more than three exhausting jobs. 6. Be careful with "black tax." Help people back home when you can, but stabilise yourself first. A child who can barely stand cannot carry another child on their back. 7. Choose your circle wisely. Ask questions, research, learn, accept correction and keep improving. 8. Stay away from crime and quick money. What looks sweet today can cost you your freedom, reputation and future tomorrow. Living abroad is a marathon, not a sprint. Work, learn, save, grow, pray and give yourself time. I write this from personal experience—my struggles, sacrifices and regrets. Read with an open mind. ~ ShamelDdon

Your spouse who very hardly complains about anything, complains about your constant communication with someone, an opposite gender. S/he frowns about, mildly expresses concern and subtly warns you about it. Instead of reflecting deeply, and at least adjusting or better still, cutting off all ties with the person for the sake of maintaining the peace, happiness and harmony in your relationship and home. No! You put up a serious debate and argument! Stating a thousand reasons why you cannot disconnect with the person. Even going as far as engaging in a heated argument leading up to keeping malice with your spouse. In your mind, you think you are defending your human right. In your mind, you think because you are innocent, nobody can stop you from communicating with whoever you feel like and wish to communicate with, as long as you are NOT physically cheating on your spouse. Smiles...what you do not know or understand is that sometimes insubordination and unnecessary arguments send a wrong signal, more negative and damaging message than cheating. What you have done in effect is that you have unknowingly raised the suspicion level of your spouse and have also broken whatever trust and confidence your spouse has for you. The critical question is: Is that person or your communication with them more important to you than your spouse and home? You ultimately displayed or demonstrated to your spouse that you place more value on that person and your communication with them over your spouse, your relationship and your home. Relationships do not get destroyed in just one day. It is a gradual process and over time. Inch by inch and brick by brick until the foundation collapses. Some battles are won through simple alignment and obedience; without going to war. Some people sometimes "unintentionally" spoil their relationship in the name of defending and arguing over unnecessary things to score points. Be guided! ShamelDdon