Feeling vulnerable - I’m humbled today · Dream Life

Benjamin Ross

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Feeling vulnerable - I’m humbled today

I went to the dentist and found out I had acute gingivitis - not irreversible damage but definitely a wake up call

If I don’t practice better habits I could have long term affects and lose bone density

You can get more bone back but it’s an expensive surgery and not something I ever wanna do

Fortunately no cavities or decay

I had neglected my oral health for the last like 10 years if I’m honest and just never went to the dentist

I guess it was feelings of poverty and not wanting to pay for it then also just hating the dentist but I think it’s also my self love

Or lack of it

Not wanting to take care of myself

Just another bill and annoyance to deal with - the annoyance of how expensive healthcare in America is

This is also symbolic for me though professionally

I’ve been pretty mean to people in my life and said many damaging things

Cut friendships

The spirit of this group has completely gone and it’s just me posting to myself

I guess it’s my fault but in a way it’s also hard for me to have boundaries

I feel like if I’m not careful with who I associate with it can have long term consequences on my momentum and success as well

I paid for an advanced cleaning or gum therapy fortunately they were able to remove all the tartar and bacteria accumulated - it was like 10 years of work in 2.5 hours

I am super grateful to the staff and team for taking care of me and doing a great job

They then used a rinse and laser beam to kill off the the remaining bacteria

I still have full function of the teeth and roots but I have to be extra careful and use a water pick water floss daily to make sure the gums stay healthy

Then I have to get checkups every 3 months

Hygiene has been a weak spot of mine

And not just dentally but the way I treat people

I will be nice for a phase and people like me then sometimes I turn into a monster and attack people ….

And yet I want to be a coach and mentor people but I can struggle with keeping close friends without freaking out and judging them sometimes

But I also feel like friends build you up and just want to see the excellent and best version of you

So I don’t know I get red flags when I see people just drifting and not going for it truly

But they probably get red flags about me or have turned off their notifications and don’t even check in anymore

I guess why should they - when I’m not checking in with them

I guess relationships are a 2 way street

I want to be supportive but also surround myself with success at all times

You have to give the support to receive the support

Anyway I feel a bit weakened today in my pride

Damn I had a severe gum infection for years and didn’t even know it

Make sure you go to the dentist yall every 6 months lol

I guess sometimes you don’t take things too seriously until it’s too late

Fortunately it’s not too late for me

Fortunately no tooth decay or disease on the teeth I hear root canals are even worse or crowns

But it’s a wake up call - I need to take better care of myself - stop smoking - and also think about my spiritual hygiene ….

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I’m sorry for being such a hater

I just hate to waste time and I hate feeling like a failure in life so that’s why I push myself so relentlessly hard

Because I don’t want to waste any more time

You only have this one body and life - so make the best of it

I’ll try to more mindful I know I probably post too much but at this point my brand and even group has completely changed so I understand if people aren’t resonating with me anymore

I just think a social club without actual goals and deadlines can begin to feel like a dead end hangout

Or time wasting

I am looking to attract ppl who want to build heavily for their coaching business

2 months ago I was just connecting with anyone who wanted to grow on skool

So Vibe has changed and become more specific

Anyway thx for reading and I hope we can keep in touch

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