“I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81. He said no” - Dadsaysjokes IG One of the best dad joke pages out there

“Discipline, doing what you hate to do, but do it like you love it.” - Mike Tyson I put this quote up as a remainder to myself

I have a list of pick up lines on my phone from years ago and one of the classics I have saved is "You've got something in your eye.... it must be a sparkle" - Wish I could remember where I learned this line.

I watched The Godfather for first time recently and all I've been saying to people when they ask me a favour is "You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to do murder—for money". Endless entertainment.