When I went to Chase Recovery to help me stop drinking (a community led project for connection and understanding) I was told a story of two brothers.
One was an alcoholic and the other never touched a drop.
When asked why they were the way they were, they both replied 'Because my father was an alcoholic'
Your experience is your own.
Some of us are shaped not because of who we are but because of who we thought we should be.
You can question that assumption any time you like.