Rusty was the color of my energy
1st paintings in 8 months. I felt so frustrated at first, paint not mixing, brushes could have been better, a unattained compulsion to paint new apartment walls, limited and confined to a hand that is mine, but wasnt listening to me. I was so aware of my angst., my self judgements, my critical comparative self talk, i just noticed. But then at some point, at sometime in the night, I noticed something else, i noticed that i realized I was free of 2 things...being frustrated and trying to not be frustrated. Aware of awareness to problems that are not real.