12d (edited) • General discussion
3 Mindset Shifts that Made Me Dangerously Confident
In any conversation there are subtle moments where the person you are talking to decides if to listen to you or not. They subconsciously look at how confident you are: your body language, tone of voice, eye contact (among many other things) and they decide: "this is someone worth listening to".
That appearance of confidence can make or break a social interaction: whether that person you just met wants to be your friend, or if the girl says yes to going on a date with you.
But if you focus on all these thousands of microexpressions that you making in every conversation, you'll probably go crazy. In my social journey, I've found a better way and its to focus internally.
Our minds send signals to our body that echo what we truly believe. If you believe that your not worth listening to, your body will naturally mirror this (in your expressions, body language etc) and the person you're talking to will pick up on these and they will likely agree.
But the flip side is also true! If you think you're a catch, you'll appear more like a catch and the person is more likely to thing so, if you think you're funny, they're more likely to laugh. If you truly think what you have something good to offer and interesting to say , it's going to trickle down into how confident you appear and people will believe you.
But how do you develop this internal confidence? It starts with self-beliefs and these are 3 that have helped me to be myself, to do bold things in life, and seem confident while doing it.
1. "I will always be okay" - This helps me to take social risks because it lets me put aside the catastrophizing and "what-ifs" about social situations.
It reminds me that even if people judge me or I say a joke and no one laughs or I bomb on stage that I will still be breathing and living and have people that love me - this has given me the freedom to live life more fully, to go up and talk to people, do public speaking, or ask out the girl.
2. "What I have to say is worth sharing, simply because I think it is" - Ever thought of a funny joke or something you wanted to say in conversation but talked yourself down? That's exactly what this mindset helps combat.
This belief gives me all the permission I need to speak my thoughts, say jokes that I think are funny, and not stay quiet out of fear that the person is not going to vibe with what I have to say, which has led to a ton more truly interesting, fun and authentic conversations.
3. "The good I bring far outweighs any bad" - Sometimes I get a bit of imposter syndrome and feel like I'm not worthy of friends or that I'll be a burden on a social interaction because I'm not perfect.
This mindset helps me think of the good I brought to people's lives: fun conversations, moments I've made them laugh, times I've supported them, and it reframes my thoughts - showing me that yeah, I'm not perfect but I do bring a ton of good to people. Which gives me the confidence to put myself in more situations to do just that!
Now, I'm not a very woo-woo mindsets person, but these have genuinely helped me. Usually, all it takes is me saying these in my head or sometimes saying them out loud, and they give me a big boost of confidence and ease forn any social situation I'm going into.
I hope they do the same for you!
And by the way, I would love to know if you thought it was helpful and if it helped you look at social situations or your confidence a bit differently!
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3 Mindset Shifts that Made Me Dangerously Confident
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