Mar 22 • General discussion
Breaking old pattern,and non nice guy wisdom.
I could write a lot about enmeshment, family patters,co dependency, and maybe I will...but briefly today: I became my mums emotional regulator when little and tried to save her (from men mostly, ..a dysfunction in the making)leading to severe nice guy syndrome.
Now my mum is over 80, I'm helping again....but am doing my best to do it in new ways. I just had a call with my mum and I could feel my wanting to people please, rescue,control ...I asked a friend I'm staying with how couldi do different? My friend basically said: don't prempt, and try to manage,...she suggested don't over offer, and wait and just help when asked .
So a non nice guy (girl in my friends case) basically tells me what I am learning here on Brojo ...I'm lighting awesome of people who didn't grow up "nice", and how sensible they generally are.
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Breaking old pattern,and non nice guy wisdom.
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