Admittedly, most of us single, childless mid-life gals, on paper, have friends and family, whom we love. And love us back. But heck, our friends with their husbands and kids and even our own parents going ga-ga over grandchildren and our siblings who possibly stand in judgment of us because we didn't follow their full-family path can sure behave in ways that sometimes have us **feeling** like we're invisible and unloved sometimes, right? Likely yes. It doesn't get any easier, as I'm still shocked, twenty years in to FCS life, when my friends and family don't make time to enjoy some life with me or include me in their activities. For instance, I fly 6000 miles to spend time in the US where my best friend and other Loved Ones live and sometimes I'm lucky if my best friend will spare two hours for a quick out to dinner and three hours following her around the house while she does chores and folds laundry in the ten days I'm there. This is the same best friend who sends me pictures of her and her husband on day long or weekend long romantic dates, takes her kids camping four or five times a year....sends me photos of her going on all-day hikes with colleagues from work. This is a woman who shows me in every way that she has a life full of love and connection and people she makes time for. But with me she always acts as though I'm "all set." Like I don't need special experiences with her or loving moments because, clearly, I've lived without those things for most of my adult life and I'm so grounded and happy. When I've texted her asking for us to do something special when I'm visiting and she just says, "No, I don't have time. I'm just exhausted," I realize that I'm the solid person in her life who she doesn't see as "needing her." I'm the person who doesn't fit into her buckets of people who need her love. I'm just Sara Swati, world adventurer, yogini, and "all set." BUT, the one thing I never do is blame her or any of my friends and family when they fail to make time for me or include me in their couples- or kid-based activities.

One of the first times I talked with my Saraswati spiritual teacher he told me, "You think you're in reality. Here, in the same space with me. But in fact, you're in your own separate universe that you've created to cope with life." I was thunderstruck. What an asshole! Who did this guy think he was? I was young, had plenty of money, was a successful law school student with a bright future. I had lots of friends, a family who loved me, some people told me I was beautiful, and I was in good health. Despite being sure of exactly how awesome I was, I decided to start doing yoga as a meditation at home on my own, do pranayama breath practices, practice Yoga Nidra (a guided meditation you do lying down in shavasana), learn Sanskit chanting, and meditate every morning because I felt that only made me even more cool. And then........uh, oh. Slowly I felt the realization dawn. Oh. My. God. That guy was RIGHT. When I stopped having music blasting all the time; when I stopped staying out late socializing, getting up frazzled but still jogging 5-10 miles in the morning; when I stopped eating processed food I bought at a big box grocery store, fast food, and eating out; when I stopped staring at social media, watching the news, and staring at a screen all the time, I realized.... I was an alcoholic. That most of my relationships were based on enjoying distracting activities, not on shared values. That I was constantly working hard, playing hard to get away from sitting and feeling the trauma from my childhood. That I would often be doing one thing but my mind would be somewhere else completely unrelated. That there were parts of my body that I couldn't feel, that were numb. That I was VERY ANGRY about what happened to me when I was a kid. That I walked around with a mindset that deep down I was unlovable and unloved. And then the real work began. After realizing I was actually wandering in the Darkness, confused, I decided that I really wanted to be in the larger reality. I wanted to join other women who are brave enough, resilient enough, committed enough to bare their teeth when times get hard and say, "No, I want my real life. I want to truly be me. I want to be here in Nature with everyone. I want to be feminine and I want to be FREE."

I read an inspiring call to action yesterday when I was posting social media content for Bliss Revealed, and I wanted to share the results with you. The person brought up the fact that expressing our Selves through an artistic medium is a form of expressing and sharing our Freedom and the unique contribution we all make to the world. To create, without judgement, for the random expression of it--a song, a poem, a painting, or for me a beach sculpture this morning--is to tap into, and contribute to, the nurturing power of Life and Love. I left this behind today near my favorite tree for everyone passing by to enjoy until the tide or another event washes it away. Me leaving behind a bit of myself and my Love. I ask you: Please consider taking a few moments to make a bit of art....from a doodle in a notebook to something grand...and sharing it below. Let's celebrate our creative natures and the Nature's Creative Energy...which are both expressions of the same One. Thank you!! 😀 Love, Unmani 💗