Ok, breathe with me first—four in, four hold, six out. That’s step zero every morning. Neuro-fact: when your autistic kid melts down, their amygdala’s basically a fire alarm stuck on “blaring.” Yours too. So if you calm yours first, the room actually quiets faster than any sticker chart. I learned that when Alicia screamed for forty minutes over a tag in her shirt—turned out the tag was louder in my head than hers. Next, “time-ins” not timeouts. Sit on the floor, same level, mirror their breathing even if they’re thrashing. Your prefrontal cortex tells their mirror neurons “we’re safe together.” Works like magic; I did it yesterday with Daniel—he was convinced the smoke detector was plotting against him. Ten minutes, lights low, both of us humming the Paw Patrol song. Crisis over. Sensory buffet before school. Let them pick three things: chewy necklace, noise-canceling headphones, or a lavender roller on wrists. Their brain craves predictable input—give it, and the world feels less like a blender on high. And the big one—your dopamine. You’re not selfish if you lock the bathroom for three minutes and scroll cat memes. That tiny hit resets your vagus nerve, which means you won’t snap at Gabe when he lines up all the spoons. Salem taught me: if he can nap on a warm laptop, you can nap on the couch. You’re not failing. You’re rewiring in real time—yours and theirs. And honestly? That’s superhero shit.