Day 16 I Am Abraham’s Daughter 😭😭😭 · AMP: The Artist Master Plan

11d (edited) • 1000 Fan Machine — Day Tasks

Day 16 I Am Abraham’s Daughter 😭😭😭

DAY 1 — THE THING NEVER SAID

I am Abraham’s daughter.

For most of my life, I carried a story that never belonged to me.

Before I was old enough to understand what was happening, I was accused of being someone else’s child. My grandmother believed that I was her husband’s daughter and accused my mother of something that was not true. Because of that belief, my mother and I suffered years of emotional, verbal, and physical abuse.

My biological father was incarcerated before I was born, and although he eventually made it known that I was his daughter, the damage had already been done.

I grew up carrying accusations that were never mine to carry.

The truth is:

I am Abraham’s daughter.

DAY 2 — NAME THE FEELING

For years I called myself strong, but underneath that strength were feelings I never gave names to.

The emotions I carried were:

Rejection
Confusion
Anger
Loneliness
Fear
Shame
Sadness
Abandonment
Resentment
Determination

I spent so much of my life trying to prove that I was different, worthy, and deserving of love that I never stopped long enough to name what I actually felt.

DAY 3 — THE UNSENT LETTER

Dear Grandmother,

You made me fight a battle that was never mine.

I spent years trying to prove that I belonged. I spent years trying to prove that I was worthy. I spent years trying to outrun accusations that were placed on me before I even knew who I was.

The little girl who wanted your love eventually learned that she could not earn it.

I watched my mother suffer.

I watched our relationship suffer.

I watched you choose a story over the truth. Even when you found out the truth you told I wasn’t gonna never mount upto shit.

And while I cannot change what happened, I can finally release the responsibility of carrying it.

I forgive myself for believing that your rejection meant that I was unworthy.

I release the burden that never belonged to me.

DAY 4 — BEFORE IT HAPPENED

Before the accusations.

Before the rejection.

Before the family wounds.

Before the pain.

I was innocent.

I was curious.

I was loving.

I trusted people.

I believed I belonged.

I believed anything was possible.

I laughed more.

I was simply a little girl trying to understand the world around her.

DAY 5 — WHAT CHANGED

The moment everything changed was realizing that I was being treated differently because of a story that was not true.

I learned very early that I had to defend myself & identity from those that was relatives but never claimed or accepted me and my mom.

I learned that I had to prove who I was.

I learned to walk the straight and norrow so I would end up on the news like all your other grandchildren you cherished so much.

I learned that I had to fight for my place.

The cloud was already hanging over me before I had a chance to introduce myself to the world.

DAY 6 — WHAT I LOST

This experience took:

Safety
Trust
Innocence
Peace
Belonging
Family connection
Security
Confidence

For years it also took my ability to simply exist without feeling like I had to prove myself.

It taught me to survive.

But it also taught me that I deserved more than survival.

DAY 7 — WHAT SURVIVED

My voice survived.

My faith survived.

My compassion survived.

My creativity survived.

My purpose survived.

My spirit survived.

My ability to love survived.

My sovereignty survived.

I am of the De’Simien lineage, a family line that I carry with pride. Identity became sacred to me because so much of my life was spent fighting identities that other people placed upon me.

When people tell you who you are long enough, you eventually begin searching for yourself.

My journey became a journey of remembrance.

I wanted to know who I was beyond the accusations.

Beyond the family wounds.

Beyond the labels.

Beyond the pain.

I came to understand that my identity was never rooted in rejection.

My identity was never rooted in dysfunction.

My identity was never rooted in accusations.

My identity was always rooted in who I was created to be.

That is why sovereignty matters to me.

That is why identity matters to me.

That is why remembrance matters to me.

Because I know what it feels like to spend years fighting a story that never belonged to you.

FINAL REFLECTION

For much of my life, I fought a battle that was never mine.

I spent years trying to prove that I was different, worthy, and deserving of love.

I worked hard on myself because I was determined not to become what I witnessed.

I chose healing.

I chose growth.

I chose truth.

I chose sovereignty.

Today I understand that I am not the accusations.

I am not the projections.

I am not the dysfunction.

I am not the abuse.

I am not the stories that were placed upon me.

The little girl who was made to feel like she did not belong became the woman who helps other people remember that they do.

And perhaps that is why my work, my music, and my message have always been about helping people remember who they are beneath the pain, beneath the labels, and beneath the stories they inherited.

Because sometimes the greatest act of healing is realizing that the burden you carried was never yours to begin with.

Today I no longer need permission to belong.

I know who I am.

I know whose I am.

I am Abraham’s daughter.

I am of the De’Simien lineage.

And I no longer have to fight a story that was never mine.

— I Am God Frequency 🙏🏾

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Day 16 I Am Abraham’s Daughter 😭😭😭