21d (edited) • 1000 Fan Machine — Day Tasks
Day 16 - Song: Da Struggle (Soundatrack ) The Unsent Letter DAY 4-7
Dear People from my past,
From my foster family, to all the people who allowed me to be violated in every way possible as a child—in every way BUT right—and failed me. From the foster care system workers, to the doctors, the teachers, the church members, to the therapists y'all even took me to as a child. THE ENTIRE SYSTEM FAILED ME (BUT GOD).
To both of my kids' fathers that walked out on me and left while I was with child, to go raise kids that weren't even yours.
To those who I was always there for but could never show up for me when I needed you the most.
To Corporate America—one of the most biased places that could not stand to see a brown Black woman come their way with more knowledge and experience than they could only admire and used to have.
They look at us with the green eyes of envy and the dark hearts of hate so much that they themselves don't understand or comprehend why they'll go the distance to copy your bio and steal your identity on a corporate platform, and try to push you out by silent mobbing. Then now you're the target and the issue, and suddenly you find yourself in a David and Goliath battle to salvage your sanity. Their whole agenda is to climb the corporate ladder for titles and power. My agenda is clock in and clock out, earn a check, and make my music. My dream is still sitting front and center in my mind, waiting to come forth. So, Corporate America, over y'all too!
To every producer, videographer, photographer, etc. that has ever doubted me when I came into your studio and you looked at me like your ATM—paying for services rendered—and you hit me over the head with prices much higher than you charged everyone else! Not paying was never an option! Or even if you just held my files—my music recordings and videos, my photo shoots—and held them and laughed because I said I was The Throwback Kween, or because you thought you had the power to convince me to sign contracts by keeping them.
And to all the ones that said, "How can you call yourself The Throwback Kween when no one knows you? It'll never work. You're not established enough." (Your thoughts only after I paid your Black ass for a project, and you're trying to get me to sign at the same time. Kick rocks. )
To the ones that said I was crazy for always spending my own money on my music career for years, and all that they could see was that it was never going nowhere. From their eyes, they saw it as no one wanted to invest in me. They don't know the deals I walked away from or left on the table because they were not right for me. But in my eyes, it was me protecting my music, my gift, as if it was one of my babies—and I protected it from predators with my life!
Lastly, this letter is to anyone that doubted me when I told them God woke me up from a dream one night in 2008 and told me to relocate out of state with me and my two daughters. You all told me not to do it because you would worry about us since I didn't have anyone here. My response to you then was, "I don't have anybody here and I'm still making it. What's the difference? If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere."
Now that I know you continue to lurk on my pages to see why I continue to do my music, I will share this with you. Because God woke me up from a dream one night and told me I was DeDe Sha'Ron The Throwback Kween. And just as He told me to relocate and I believed Him then—I BELIEVE HIM NOW.
DAY 7
Failure is temporary. It's an event. It happens, I may cry, I may have to regroup, I may have to pivot. But regret? Regret is a ghost that lives in in a person's chest forever. It a ghost and whispers and "what if" or “ “If I would have” on every quiet night for the rest of your life.
To me. Failure would have been a lesson. Regret would have been a life sentence. I chose the lesson. I showed my kids that their mother is not a quitter. That lesson is worth more than any house or city. I showed them my faith is my foundation and that is my legacy.
Affirmation: I'D RATHER FAIL TRYING, THAN BE IN FEAR WONDERING! 👑🎤
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Day 16 - Song: Da Struggle (Soundatrack ) The Unsent Letter DAY 4-7
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