"The Courage To Be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga had a huge impact on my professional and business life. I read it again recently, and it still hits. At first, you throw fists in the air saying "who that guy thinks he is", but then you realize how right he is. Synthesis: We all want to be liked, in a way (even if some people give less f*cks than other). But we can never please everyone. That being said, being disliked is part of being visible. Seeking approval traps us. The book dives into the principles of Adlerian psychology, which argues that most of our emotional suffering comes from worrying about others’ expectations. All life challenges are ultimately interpersonal problems. Kishimi’s philosophy? Everyone's opinions are “tasks” that aren’t ours to control. Every comment, DM, or membership is part of an unspoken relationship contract. A dynamic of give and take, in a sense. When people stop engaging or leave our group, it can feel personal, but most of these interactions reflect their view and opinion, not our value. Adler’s key concept here is “task separation”. It's crucial to understanding what’s ours to own and what isn’t. Our task is to provide valuable insights, create a clear path, and show up authentically. Their task is how they choose to respond to that. - If someone churns after watching your core training, that’s their task, not ours - When someone hates our take on pricing, that’s their choice—not a reflection of our value - Our community will never thrive if our only goal is making everyone comfortable Some people will love your approach, others will call it “too harsh.” Some members want hand-holding, others want to consume content And that’s okay. In fact, it’s ideal. All problems are relationship problems. And relationships come with friction, especially when we stop trying to make everyone happy.