Lovely weekend, 2 nice schooling sessions, and i treated myself to a home spa session. Then made my favourite meal duck in orange sauce.

I booked a short break to go and see my step daughter in holland in August. Apart from that it was just another day , but i did ride and caught 1 mole in my traps.

My win of the week was riding 5 days out of 7 , and i am back loving it. Only downside is , i am having to only do about 30 minutes as i have rwally put my back.out. So i have been taking loads of ibuprofen . Also speayed docks in both my field ( horses are shut off part) and in the hay field.

I finally got back on board and loved it, as you know i sadly lost my hubby, in february ,, i still have days when i suddenly burst into tears ,it was second time round for both of us , he was the love of my life and the only time in my life i had truly felt safe, unfortunately he lost his battle against cancer. I have realised that grief is a very individual thing and no it doesnt get easier with time, just different. You stop listening for their voice, the key in the door, you get used to waking up alone and the emptyness. You get used to going days without seeing anyone to talk to. But , you have to force yourself to move forward in small steps, i started with a pilates class, then a exercise to music class, both he wouldnt have done so no memories there. I have been out to the pictures twice with a friend and enjoyed it. But i still have days when i burst into tears, it can be doing anything. I have learned to just take it one day at a time, i still tell him everyday what i aim to do in the morning and at night how my day went, its my own way of coping. And i have stopped beating myself up for doing nothing with my horses, they dont care as long as they are fed and looked after.

My win this week was 2 good rides on my ex racer. Unfortunately my old girl came in hoping lame with a swollen foreleg, so she had to go on box rest, luckily i borrowed a friends horse to keep him company as he has seperation issues, let them settle for a day, but when i got them both in so i could ride, my old girl started getting too excited and i had to leave them out, at 24 she is still a tart. Lol. So i have been putting mole traps in a fenced off bit of the field and managed to get 4. And i went out to the pictures with some friends which did me good. So some wins and small glimmers