I’m so sorry I’ve been a little distant here lately and haven’t posted for some time. Two weeks ago on Thursday, I very unexpectedly lost my beloved Happy. Even though she had been bravely going through chemotherapy for 11 months, her final decline happened so quickly - thankfully she did not suffer for long and was gone within just a few days. Losing her so soon after Honey has left me more heartbroken than I can really put into words, and I’m still finding my footing again emotionally and spiritually. A couple of nights ago I had one of those dreams that lingers long after waking - the kind that feels more like an emotional landscape than a normal dream. Everything was strange and shifting. Places changed. Nothing quite made sense, yet somehow it all felt painfully real at the time. But what stayed with me most was the overwhelming feeling of being utterly lost. Not physically lost - soul lost. As though I had moved from one place to another and slowly everything familiar had been taken away. I remember feeling that I had nothing with me. Nothing to draw on. No sense of where I belonged or where I was supposed to go. And waking up, I realised perhaps it was grief speaking in symbols. When we lose deeply loved souls - especially those who have quietly become part of the emotional architecture of our lives - the world can begin to feel familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. The house is still the house. The routines still exist. The remaining dogs are still here. Yet something fundamental has shifted beneath it all. Happy and Honey were not “just dogs.” They were constants. Rhythms. Comfort. Presence. Little anchors in my nervous system and my everyday world. Even when they were no longer sleeping on the bed beside me, my soul still knew exactly where they were. And now I think part of me is grieving not only them, but also the version of myself that existed with them. It also made me realise how grief rarely arrives all at once. It comes in layers. First one loss, then another adjustment, then another change in the energy of the home, until one day you wake from a dream and realise your soul is trying to understand a landscape it no longer fully recognises.